


Faithfully Unfaithful

by GirlWhoLovesMonsters



Category: Johnny Depp - Fandom, Marilyn Manson (Band)
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-01-29 17:50:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 40,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12636111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GirlWhoLovesMonsters/pseuds/GirlWhoLovesMonsters
Summary: What is faith? What is Love? What is real? Explicit Content





	1. Conventional

     

Marilyn sat at the table eating the breakfast Johnny had made for him. He ate in silence, alone since Johnny had left earlier that morning to go home to his kids and work. Marilyn sighed knowing he was fortunate that their management teams let them continue their less than conventional relationship but he also hated it. Sometimes the moments they were allowed to be together made the moments they couldn't be harder. 

Marilyn wondered if any one else had relationships like this, or were they the only ones like them? He also knew that if he and Johnny were to ever just be exclusive it wouldn't take long for them to tire of one another and long for a female counterpart. They were both the same in that way.  Always wanting what they didn't have and when they get it they can't hold onto it. The press would always present them as best friends and they'd always be best friends. Marilyn missed him though, his companionship if anything.  This was the longest he'd been without a girlfriend since he had his first one, and right now he was content not even looking, but not having Johnny readily available was also hard. Sometimes he found himself worrying that he'd leave him again. 

Life was otherwise going well for him. He had friends, his art, he was figuring himself out really for the first time, at 48, most people have done this but he's been a kid for so long, molding himself to his partner or his art. Era after era getting himself lost along the way. He didn't know what was going to come out of the cocoon this time around but whatever it was, was bound to be brilliant. 

Finishing his breakfast he loaded the dishes into the washer and walked upstairs. He was supposed to be meeting Johnny and some other people to grill out and drink a few beers. Guy time, like stereotypical guy time. Not something he was accustomed to. This whole masculine thing worked for him though. He was sporting a well groomed goatee and had his hair cut neatly. He was actually excited about hanging out with people. He remained lost in his thoughts as he chose his clothes for the day before starting the shower.  
"Ahhhh" Marilyn sighed from inside the warmth of the shower.  He stood under the water letting it trail over him. His mind traveled to Johnny and the previous events. Last night had been great, they had dinner, joked around, talked about things he understood, fucked until both of them were worn out and sore. 

His left hand tailed down his chest while he focused on the memory.  Johnny kissing his neck on his sweet spot. His hands tracing him, teasing Marilyn, letting him know that for this round he was top. He whispered in his ear, Marilyn could feel his breath on him. "Turn around babe, put your hands on the wall for me." Marilyn complied. He turned himself around, put his hands on the wall and spread his legs arching his back so his ass was pronounced. Johnny gave a quick stinging smack, groaning as he kneaded the flesh in his palm. "Mmmm, your ass gets me going babe. Who does this tight ass belong too?"   
Marilyn whined and whispered "you, babe. I'm all yours. Take me?" 

Marilyns cock was hard and throbbing as he let one of his hands wonder over himself, resting his forehead against the shower wall. He smacked his ass again hard. "Mmmm" he cried out as he gave himself a few more smacks. Again he heard Johnny in his imagination. "Naughty boy, not keeping your hands where I told you." His nails dug into the now reddened flesh. "I'm sorry. I just need to feel you so bad! I'll be good." Marilyn stuttered our barely louder than a whisper. He moved his hips vulgarly at the air. He let out quiet gasps and moans. 

He rested his face flush with the shower wall as both of his hands made their way over him. The water was rushing over him adding to the effects of his thoughts. Water rushed over his face and into his eyes and mouth. He kept blowing the water out with his moans. "Take me, please..."  he whined out.  Johnny chuckled at his desperation. "Show me how much you want my cock slut." He demanded as he pinched both of Marilyn's nipples. Tweaking them between his fingers making him squirm and cry out his pleas now loudly. "Here you go, sweet boy. Here's your toy. Show me how bad you want me to fuck you with it." He lifted the thick green fallacious object to his mouth. "Suck." Marilyn complied opening his mouth to take it in. He squeaked out in pleasure as he took it in as far as he could. Choking a little around the thickness in his mouth he felt his slobber thickening. Johnny lightly grazed his cock teasingly as he deep throated the man with the vibrator. He moved his thumb in circles over the sensitive head which was sticky slick with pre cum. 

With every circular motion Marilyn whined out thrusting his hips forward. "My horny little boy. Not such a tough guy now huh? Such a dirty dirty boy. Are you ready for me?" He teased while removing the toy from his mouth. Johnny lubed up his length and lined himself up with Marilyn's opening. "Ahhhh. Oh fuck!' Marilyn howled out as he felt himself being opened widely. He rested his free hand against the wall again as he continued to push the toy into his ass. He rocked his body into every thrust, screaming out with every contact of his prostate.   
Marilyn switched the vibrator on and felt his muscles contract around it. "Shit, shit, shit! Fuck, babe you feel so good deep inside me!"  He mumbled out still talking to Johnnys memory.  The toy thrusting deeply into him, over and over. Marilyn felt close, he contemplated seeing if he could make himself cum without touching his cock like when Johnny fucks him. However, today he was on a time crunch and too desperate to cum. 

Johnny grabbed hold of his cock and began pumping with the same rhythm he thrust into him with. Marilyn was screaming incoherently random swear words mixed with Johnny's name. "Fuck, babe I'm gonna cum. Mmmm I'm gonna fu... shi... ahhhh, cumming, I'm cumming." He screamed out as his body tensed and he came hard against the shower wall. He panted hard trying to catch his breath. "Painted that fucking wall for me huh baby doll?" Johnny sneered at him. Marilyn reciprocated with a chuckle. "Yeah, I wish you'd paint me! Hmmm maybe next time, I'll ask you too."  He thought out loud to himself. 

Once he got his breathing regulated he slowly removed the toy from his ass. He groaned a little at the feeling of it coming out, grazing his prostate on the way and leaving him clenching and empty. He stood up and wiped off the wall of the shower and began washing his toy. 

Marilyn stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around his waist. The phone rang. "What's up Johnny?" He spoke with his baritone voice into the phone.  "I'll be there soon, finishing getting dressed. See ya." He hung up the phone.


	2. Inside Thoughts

Marilyn arrived at the address he was given for the BBQ. He was a little nervous but mostly he was excited.

Hey hey! The party's here! Marilyn heard a familiar British voice call out from the kitchen. 

Yea chaos is here you guys! I brought a party gift. Marilyn answered. 

You didn't have to bring anything! But thanks! I'll start pouring this up! Looks good! Charlie laughed, taking the vodka bottle and cherry kool-aid mix from him. Everyone is out back, come on I'll show you around. Johnny is in the piss room I think. I'm sure he heard you come in though. 

Marilyn followed him through the kitchen. I'm sure your neighbors heard me come in with that announcement you made. 

Yeah well I'm happy to see you. It's been a minute. See you kept the goatee man, looks good on you. Charlie mixed up the kool-aid and vodka pouring them both a glass. This is the shit right here man. You know how to drink this shit! Charlie said clinking their glasses together before heading outside with everyone else. 

Happy to see you all also, thanks for the invite. Marilyn made his way over to the small crowd of people. Everyone was chatting amongst themselves when Marilyn spotted Johnny walking over. What's up mother fucker. I was getting worried you'd fallen in! Marilyn greeted him, before pulling him in for a hug. 

Didn't fall in, couldn't find my way back out here. Ended up on the other side of the house. Where's the Arm candy? Flying solo tonight!? Johnny asked scriptedly while grabbing a beer. 

**** time lapse a few hours have passed and several drinks have been shared.**** 

The men all sat in circle around a fire chatting and roasting marshmallows. 

Ooo I have an idea! Let's play one of those college drinking games. Truth or dare or some shit! Mark shouted out. 

What about we play, let's keep drinking and forget the game. Or let's play cards, or jam or something. Tyler retorted. 

I agree, those games never fair well for me, and Vincent is sober. I'm down with cards. I don't want to jam though man, I'm not working today. Let meh live!!! Marilyn sassed breaking into drunken laughter towards the end. 

Fine, you all are a bunch of pussies anyway! Mark shouted. Bet I beat your asses in cards though! 

Deal em' out brotha. Let's see whatcha got! Charlie commanded in his bravado. 

The men sat around playing and talking until almost day break. Marilyn had pretty much sobered up. Charlie and Tyler were plastered and barely staying awake. Johnny had no desire to go home to his newly empty house, and he couldn't leave with Marilyn in this altered state. Vincent and Mark had long since left the mayhem that surrounded them. 

Marilyn and Johnny helped get the others inside and to a room. They didn't know which rooms were for what so they chose the ones that made the most sense. Once they got the men into beds and felt like they were safe they found themselves laughing on the couch. 

What were the odds they'd be sober and the others would be passed out drunk? They concluded everyone has to have a wild time at some point and everyone has to have a tame night at some point. 

They decided to crash on the couch and leave in the morning.

Manson woke first rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He stretched his body out lazily on the couch and looked over to see Johnny still sleeping. He darted his eyes around the room to ensure no one was up yet. Once feeling satisfied they were alone, he slipped off the couch and over to where Johnny lay. "Hey. Hey Johnny." Manson whispered while shaking his arm lightly.   
Johnny mumbled at him before letting his eyes flutter open. "You wanna get up and head out? My house, your house, your house I borrow? Whatever?"   
"Yeah, Yeah, let's get moving." He replied drowsily.

A little while later they were falling into bed. Johnny and Marilyn lay face to face, Marilyn stroked a lock of hair out of Johnny's face. "You know I'll have to go soon. We can hang out soon though. We're both going to be busy." Johnny spoke softly

"I wish we didn't have to be like this. Why do we have to pretend to just be friends? I mean I know we're not in like a relationship but we're more than friends. I'm going on tour, you're filming on location. Why would it be weird for me to visit or vice versa?"

"I think they worry to much about image. They're worried that since something is going on everyone is going to know. Which is dumb. If they'd just let us carry on as usual..." Johnny trailed off.  Marilyn shifted on the bed, cozying himself into the blankets more. He just looked so damn cute and sweet. Johnny leaned over and kissed him. Gently at first, and then harder and deeper. Their bodies beginning to intertwine as Marilyn let out a moan of approval.

Johnny gently but assertively pinned Marilyn's hands above his head, nipping at his neck and lips as he made himself comfortable on top of him. Marilyn nicked his hips upwards to grind himself against Johnny. His sex already fully erect, the little friction he was gaining was causing him to moan out against Johnny's lips. "Do we have time? Please don't fuck with me if we don't have time." Marilyn groaned out hastily. Knowing Johnny wasn't one to tease without coming through, but this was less about his dick and more about his heart. They both knew they were on borrowed time. 

"We have enough time. I'll even cuddle you after. Work for you?" Johnny coyly slipped his hand between them and palmed Marilyn's cock as he spoke. Both their breath hitching as they picked up the pace greedily. A primal urge ran through both of them seemingly at the same time. 

Their eyes met, as Johnny's lips met Marilyn's. Both pairs of eyes glazed with lust and need, breath rapidly faltering. Johnny ran his nails down Marilyn's abdomen and hurriedly snapped off his belt as Marilyn unfastened his. He grabbed Johnny's shirt and popped it open, buttons flying in all directions. 

In a matter of seconds both men were completely naked and hands were touching and groping as if it were the first time and the last time simultaneously. Marilyn had his legs wrapped around Johnny's waist holding him close to him. Hormone driven teenagers humping is what they looked like. Sexes rubbing together, needing more friction but precum already making an appearance. Johnny reached into the side drawer where he knew he'd find the lube and he quickly ran some over his length and the remainder on his fingers he rubbed over Marilyn's opening. 

The two men never pulled apart, never stopped to breathe. Everything, every movement was made in unison as if their very lives depended on the contact. Johnny wrapped one arm around Marilyn's neck and the other he placed under one thigh. Marilyn's arms were locked around Johnny tightly, both men were embraced almost as if they were practicing some sort of wrestling move. In one deep breath, Johnny pushed himself into Marilyn's heat. Marilyn grunted in pleasure and slight stinging pain as his body stretched to accommodate the length within him. 

Their body's slammed together, Johnny keeping a steady pace he knew Marilyn enjoyed, keeping his angle just right to make contact with his prostate. The sound of body's slapping, lips smacking, and sucking we're almost deafening as the two men had slipped into their own world. All they could see, all they could hear were each other. The friction and weight of Johnny on top of Marilyn's body was enough to work his cock. Johnny buried his face into Marilyn's shoulder as Marilyn did the same to him. Johnny's pace began to get frantic as he drew close to his end. "I'm going to cum soon, are you close?" Marilyn simply grunted our "mmhmmm" in response as his body began to tense. Johnny felt his heat start contracting around his cock and it ultimately drew them both to their orgasms. As they rode them out, cum spilling over their bodies both men began to relax. Johnny made no effort to move from his position. Both men continuing to cling to the other as they caught their breath. 

After a minute or two Johnny sat up onto his heels, pulling himself out of his lover. Marilyn sighed, making eye contact with him. They both looked at one another for a bit, not wanting to be the one that made this moment end. Alas it would have to end. Johnny needed to piss and Marilyn would want a shower as the cum on his body began to get cold. 

Johnny cleared his throat, getting up from the bed. He didn't need to say where he was going. They had a routine. "Gotta go pee, be back in a sec." he said it anyway, giving Marilyn's leg a pat. "Yeah, man. I'm gonna hop in the shower. Wanna watch something or grab some food?" Marilyn asked in his rehearsed tone. The same they did each time. "Sure dude. Grill some steaks? There's a fight on tonight. I've got bets on McGregor. Want to invite that Charlie dude over? He was cool. He'd probably like it." Johnny asked in a happy tone masking his uneasiness. In reality he wanted to just be with Marilyn tonight.   
Marilyn called out over the water. "Yeah, man that'd be cool. Is that what you want to do? We could just hang out and watch or whatever. Yesterday was pretty social for me." Marilyn replied hoping to get Johnny to answer truthfully. Marilyn already knew the truth. They've been playing this game a long time. Johnny walks into the bathroom, holds a towel out for Marilyn. He has a gentle smirk across his face. Marilyn hops out of the shower accepting the towel and smiling back at Johnny. "Thanks." 

Johnny brought himself close to Marilyn's body and embraced him around the towel. He kissed him sweetly. I love you. One day we won't play this game anymore. He thought, but didn't speak out loud. "I... I think a night in would be fun. I also think calling Charlie and maintaining other friends is the best thing for us to do" Johnny spoke with regret and sadness. "I want to sleep here tonight though again if you'll have me." 

"Don't stay if you don't mean it though man. I understand the parameters of our arrangement." Marilyn snapped in a sigh as he hugged Johnny tightly. "You're always welcome in my bed though." He concluded. I love you, and I always want you with me. 

Once the two men left the bathroom, they returned to a normal pair of friends. Getting the mindset right for company. Neither person really ready for this to take place but both excited they can at least share this time together.


	3. Save My Place

Charlie showed up right on time. Johnny hadn't gotten back yet. Marilyn sat at the bar in his kitchen waiting for him.   
"Hey man, Johnny is on his way over. He's bringing steaks and shit. I don't keep stuff here. You want a beer or something?" 

"Yeah, id love one. You care if I smoke?" 

"Nah, I got the patio open. Go ahead. So how's the movie going? Wrapped yet?" 

"Oh yeah. It was great. A lot of fun. You'll come to the premiere yeah?" 

Manson chuckled. He's always gone to Johnny's. Why not go to another friends. "Hell Yeah brotha. I'll be there." He lulled out in his Tully drawl. 

"You're a lot funnier than people give you credit for. You should do some stand up shit. Like literally just stand up there. Just say whatever the fuck comes into your head. Like what ever... it would either be profound, confusing, or hilarious. Pretty sure people would pay for any of it. You wouldn't even have to be a character. Just the idea of the character that is you, talking in your many forms, saying the crazy shit that comes out of you at any given time is enough to be entertaining. No show would ever be the same!" 

"Dude, I don't know if you just gave me a fuckin compliment or politely insulted me. I applaud you either way sir." Marilyn says with a bow

Marilyn got some vegetables out of the fridge to prepare for the grill. He tossed a squash to Charlie. "Here you cunty bollocks or whatever the fuck. Cut this up." Marilyn said nagging like "please" He finished overly sweet with a wide toothy grin. 

"Sure nuff sweet heart. That better for ya?" Charlie asked sarcastically. 

Marilyn rolled his eyes and turned around to the sink. Washing off potato's he wanted to bake. He felt Charlie's presence behind him, he tried to just focus on the task at hand and ignore his heart beat speeding up. Charlie was not too close to Marilyn, but close enough for him to feel his warmth. He felt Charlie reach his arm around him. "I just need a knife here, so I can complete the task you've given me." He grabbed a knife from the block beside Marilyn. He could have asked him to hand him one. Marilyn knew that. He'd done that on purpose. "Hmmm Yeah, just grab whatever you need. There's more veggies in that bowl. And the skewers are on the island counter." Marilyn tried to maintain his normal voice. Really he'd wanted to back into Charlie and press himself against him. 

Marilyn got all the potatoes on a pan and into the oven, Charlie was finishing up skewering the veggies when Johnny got back with the steaks. 

"Ill go fire up the grill. Johnny, will you season the steaks?" 

"Sure thing." 

Marilyn and Charlie walked outside to start the grill and put the veggies on. Johnny finished prepping the steaks and met them outside. Once the steaks were on the grill they all sat around drinking and waiting. 

"So Charlie. How was the movie ?" Johnny asked 

"Was very good. A lot of fun. Marilyn here, says he'll come to the premiere. " 

"Very cool. Did you spend any time on locations? Those are always my favorite sets." Johnny asked curiously 

"A little. I spent a lot of time in the gym bulking up."

"That must be why Marilyn's getting this muscle tone. Huh? Gone are the days of the lanky Goth kid!" Johnny joked. All the men laughed.

"Steaks done fellas. Let's eat! I'll go pull the potatoes and stuff. Drinks?" Marilyn asked trying to be a good host.

"Lanky Goth kid? Really dude?" Marilyn asked as he sat down at the patio table with his plate. 

"I mean, have you seen you?" Johnny mumbled

"I'm not familiar with you musically but even I know you're a lanky Goth kid." Quipped Charlie 

Marilyn and Johnny exchanged smirks that meant more than noticeable on the surface. Marilyn found himself in deep conversation with Charlie however. They talked about everything. Philosophical nonsense, space, the miracle of life, how wine is made, movies that suck, that movies that don't. Johnny sat and observed. Sipping his beer. He smiled at his friend. He was glad to see Marilyn branching out. Getting to know someone. 

They all finished up their dinners and went inside. Marilyn qued the fight on his projector. He didn't actually care about the fight but he knew the other two would be really into it. He could be inside his head while they got sucked in. 

Marilyn took his place on his love seat and made himself comfortable. The other two men in other seats in the room. "You know, Marilyn that steak was amazing." Charlie stayed rubbing his belly, sinking into the recliner.  "All he did was heat it up. I had to season em ya know!" Johnny murmured insulted   
"Oh hush! Johnny you're so dramatic!" Marilyn threw a pillow, pelting him right in the face.  
"Ooof " Johnny grunted

The fight was going strong and the men were hooting and hollering at the screen. Screaming at each other. An hour of playful bickering passed and Johnny excused himself to the restroom, pausing the screen.

"There's this pub in town I think you'd like. The Sons guys and I go often. You should come with us some time."

"That sounds cool. Let me know man."

"You touring the new album soon?"

"Yeah, start in July. Wrap about February. I'm excited. You got any projects coming up?" 

"Not particularly. Just taking some family time. I'd like to..." 

"Marilyn! Will you come here real quick please man?" Johnny interrupted 

"Yeah, what's up?" Marilyn called back shuffling down the hallway. 

Johnny opened the bathroom door and pulled him inside slamming the door shut behind them. He pushed him against the back of door and he attacked his lips with his own. Using his tongue to pry open Marilyn's partially open lips far enough to slip his tongue inside. For a few moments their tongues fought for dominance inside one another's mouth. Soft moans escaping each person. Finally they broke free from each other, panting heavily from the intensity of the kiss. "I'm going to go soon. I wanted to give you a proper goodbye." Johnny informed him resting his forehead against the other. 

"How proper? Also I thought you were staying the night?"

"Proper enough to secure my place in your bed. I will try to make it back. Call me when he leaves?" Johnny scattered gentle kisses down his neck. 

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Marilyn groaned 

"I see how he looks at you." Johnny bites down on the soft spot behind his collar bone earning a lustful yelp from the other.

"I don't think so. He's totally straight." 

"Yeah, and so are we. Yet here we are. In your   
bathroom with my fingers undoing the buttons on your pants." Johnny grinned against his neck.

"I don't think I've ever publicly identified explicitly straight have I? If I did, I shouldn't have. Plus we're just fucking right? We're not dating, so it's not like totally gay." Marilyn attempted to rationalize. 

Johnny now had his hand inside Marilyn's pants, slipping into his underwear. He continued to nip and kiss down any skin Marilyn had exposed. Marilyn's hands steadily yearning back at Johnny's body. He finally became satisfied with his fingers tangled into Johnny's hair. Soft moans coming out here and there as Johnny worked his length until he was solid and thick. 

"Tell me again how straight we are?" 

"Shut up Johnny. Are you going to fuck me or just tease me? We gotta hurry. Who knows what he thinks were doing in here." 

Johnny lowered the other hand between Marilyn's legs and hooked his right leg up around his hip. The other hand he removed from his pants and squirted some of the lotion onto his hand. Slipping his hand back into his underwear he slipped past his throbbing bulge much to Marilyn's dismay and began stoking his entrance. "Well in that case, I'd better get this show on the road huh?" Johnny huffed out as he plunged two of his fingers deep into Marilyn's opening without warning. 

Marilyn's arms whipped out and he grabbed hold of the door frame trying to steady himself as best he could. He let out a shriek of surprise and brought one hand to his mouth to muffle his cry's of pleasure.  Johnny continued to thrust his fingers in and out of him hooking his fingers to stroke his prostate. He maintained a devious smirk as he locked onto Marilyns eyes. Subtly forcing him to keep eye contact with him. Only making the whole situation that much more intense. He let go of Marilyn's leg, deciding they were close enough to the counter he could rest his knee up there and keep it elevated around him. He then wedged that hand between them and took hold of Marilyn's cock. Marilyn hissed out at He initial touch, already so close he couldn't stand it. 

The exhilaration of the scenario was almost to much. Sensory overload. The rush of being caught, the sound of their own breathing ringing in his ears. His heart pounding. The words that left Johnny's mouth. The way he felt like some female lover must feel when taken this way. He noted that in his head for in the future. 

Between gasps Marilyn muttered out "Are you really concerned about your place in my bed? Or are you saying you don't want me fucking anyone else on the male spectrum?" 

"Do you ever stop talking? I'm coming back with a muzzle Wednesday!" 

With that Johnny noted Marilyn's body stiffening and shuttering. Marilyn simply shook his head no in response to Johnny's question. His knee was buckling, the only thing holding him up was the wall and the fingers inside him. Johnny picked up the pace pumping a littler faster and firmer."I see I found the spot that shuts you up! you gonna cum for me?" Johnny chuckled but it didn't cover the amount of pure lust in his voice. 

"Yeah, fuck... I'm going to cum. Please don't stop." The burning in the pit of his stomach began to blaze and his body felt like noodles. He readjusted his arms and bore his weight into Johnny's shoulders. Fingers laced into the ends of his hair. Their breath was ragged harsh. Johnnys movements and moans sounded as if he'd cum also and was strictly the giver. "Ungh! God!" Marilyn moaned in a low rumble. His body jerking in a broken rhythm against the door as his cum began streaming out of him into Johnny's hand. Johnny rested his head against him, slipping his fingers out of his opening. Marilyn adjusted to a more comfortable position to catch his breath. Eventually he decided to sit on the toilet lid before he fell onto the floor. Johnny washed his hands, and then walked over planting a kiss on the top of his head, he longed to take his lover into his arms and back to the bed they often share. He wanted to stroke his hair and kiss his lips while he came down from this high. He watched as his body trembled still, undoubtedly from exhaustion, pleasure and anxiety. Johnny so badly wanted to comfort him, he honestly didn't even know why they ever did stuff like this. He knew Marilyn would have guilt anxiety for at least an hour wondering if anyone knew. Mostly he knew Marilyn worried about what people would think of him if they knew, he didn't want to jeopardize Johnny's career because of lust. Johnny lingered, taking in the scent of his lover, cupping his face with one hand, rubbing his back with the other. "I'll be downstairs." He spoke almost mournfully but trying to be cold enough to sound as if it was a typical hit and run. By now, they should both know better. 

Marilyn nodded and watched him leave the room. He collected himself and went over to the mirror. Since he was lacking make up he didn't need to clean up anything noticeable. Just washed his face with cool water to help with the flush on his cheeks. He grinned at himself, resorting to thinking of the experience as a concubine. He gained a prideful feeling in his gut to replace the one of sorrow he got immediately when sex was over. He always wanted it last longer, to be together longer. He cherished every encounter, every date they went on, every friendly moment and lovers moment. He looked at himself in the mirror, try to stave off the guilt that crept into him. "What does that man even see in me? He's like the worlds top 10 sexiest men alive, and I'm fucking him." Marilyn again beamed with pride at his conquest. Once he deemed himself presentable again he made his way downstairs. I love him so much more than that though. He thought to himself shaking his head. 

He overheard Johnny telling Charlie he wasn't sure where he'd gone. That he'd brought some toilet paper and then he thought he came back. He agreed 10 minuets was a long time. He noted Charlie had been walking around his living room looking at stuff. He'd silently hoped he hadn't rummaged or moved anything. Marilyn was so particular about his stuff. He couldn't however form the words to ask, without sounding like a concerned or maybe jealous lover in his head so he just left it. 

"Nah, I had to shit, so I went to my bathroom. Plus it seemed like you were doing a good job wrecking my guest bathroom. I wasn't going on there." Marilyn chimed into their conversation walking into the room.   
"Such class" Charlie snorted 

"He is beauty, he is grace!" Johnny added

Marilyn did his beauty queen smile and cheesy wave finishing the thought for them. "I will punch you in the face!" Finishing with his widest creepiest toothy grin.   
The men burst into laughter for a bit, struggling to catch their breath. 

"Ah, I was just telling Charlie I was about to head out." Johnny huffed

"I see, eat my food, bomb my toilet and then abandon me." Marilyn said in his typical dry humor 

"Good to see you man. I gotta piss tho brotha. You got another bathroom around here? I'm not going in after either of you. Ill just go outside if I need to." Charlie quipped unknowingly confirming he believed them. 

Johnny bro hugged them both and headed out still laughing. Marilyn showed Charlie to a different bathroom.   
While he waited he'd popped some pop corn. Mostly because he wanted it, but also just in case Charlie hung out they'd have a snack. 

When Charlie came back down he sat beside Marilyn on the couch. "You want to watch something else? I know you don't give a shit about this fight." 

Marilyn sighed out in relief. "God yes, anything else would be great!" 

Charlie picked up Marilyn's laptop and opened his Netflix. They browsed around before agreeing on a dorky show. 

"You know if you're not working on anything you could always go on a few tour stops with us. It'd be cool to have a non band related friend to chill with." Marilyn murmured sipping his beer

"That's actually what I was going to say earlier. Before the shite monster bellowed! I'd actually love to see what a tour is like sometime. I was going to say if you ever wanted to invite me during my down time id like to go. Hint hint!" Charlie laughed at his own dorky ness. 

"Dude, that would be great. It's not all glamorous like in the movies though. Hate to break it to you:" 

"Im prepared to get a little uncomfortable." Charlie answered him, holding his gaze as he spoke. 

Marilyn chuckled sitting back against the couch. They fell into a comfortable silence watching a few episodes of the show they'd chosen. Making snide comments here and there about what was happening on the screen. 

After a while Marilyn began to doze on the couch. Charlie decided it was time to let himself out. He grabbed the popcorn bowl and the empty beer can from Marilyn. He noted how little he'd drank. He'd expected him to drink a ton. Just another misconception he decided to wave it off. He was glad that despite the lack of fact he personally had to back up his assumptions he was glad that Marilyn seemed to have a good time with him while seeming mostly sober. In fact he'd drank less than the rest of them. Only downing 2 beers and 1 mixed drink, that Charlie now questioned the alcohol content of may have even been 0. Charlie grabbed a blanket off the back of the recliner and covered up Marilyn as best he could without disturbing him. 

He decided it would be the nice thing to do to straighten up a little. There wasn't a big mess to begin with but he wanted to help if he could. He loaded the dishes into the dishwasher and turned it on, threw away all the trash. He decided that was probably enough. He'd noted how distraught Johnny looked when he found him snooping around. He solidified the assumption about how particular Marilyn seemed to be he was worried he'd mess something up or he'd think he stole something. 

He grabbed his coat and keys and headed towards the door. He flipped off the big light and clicked on a table lamp. 

Good night Marilyn. Can't wait to travel with you friend.  Charlie thought to himself. He couldn't figure out though why or how the man looked so adorable curled up on the couch there. He also didn't know why he even thought that. I'll call him in an hour to make sure he goes on up to bed. Maybe we can hang out again soon.


	4. Evidence

Marilyn woke up to a buzzing on his crotch, laying on the couch he startled and yawned. Stretching his limbs out he looked at his phone. 3:00 AM. He looked around. Charlie was gone, he had a missed call and a text from him. No word from Johnny.  
Text from Charlie: "Hey man, just wanted to try to wake you up or something so you'd go on up to bed. Sleeping on the couch the way you knocked out is sure to leave a cramp." Marilyn smiled at his phone. He decided not to bother Johnny. He'd probably fallen asleep also, plus he had obligations outside of this secret. I'll see him tomorrow. He thought to himself, trudging up the stairs.   
The next afternoon Marilyn met up with the band to go over the set lists for the coming up tour. He was super excited about it, he was excited that Charlie might come out on a few shows with them. He and Tyler were happy with the album, and ready to drop it.   
After a few hours with the band, Marilyn was excited to go back home, he did have to go to the store first. He and Johnny had planned a date night. Seeing as how they were both about to be very busy with work, he was taking every chance he could get to hang our with his beloved. 

"Hey Tyler, I'm gonna head out. I've got to stop by the store on the way to house and pick up some stuff. See you guys in a few days for the take off party?" 

"Yeah man! Looking forward to it. We doing it at the hotel you like so much? What is it? Roosevelt or some haunted house thing?" 

Marilyn snickered at his smart comment. "Yeah man, rooms booked, guest list secured, purchases made. We're set there. Hunnam and his crew are coming. That should be interesting." 

"Yeah, they're fun though. I like having them around. It's a fun distraction lol. They're so different than everyone we're around everyday.  He gonna go on the road with us some?"

Marilyn blushed a little, kind of excited about the prospect of having a good friend be along. He wasn't part of the band, he wasn't complicated, he was just chill and fun to hang with. " Yeah I think so. He'd mentioned wanting to go, I thought it would be fun for him to tag along. Show what we're really like!" 

"Ha, cause we're so exciting." Tyler nudged his arm with a sly grin before continuing. "How's Johnny going to feel, you replacing him like this?" He said sarcastically. Though Marilyn for a moment felt panic creep into his heart. He wasn't totally sure Tyler was only joking, or that he meant it as a jealous friend. 

"Um. Well, I don't think he's going to mind so much. Filming and all. Plus I can't replace my bestie!" Marilyn said as cheesy as possible.  

"Thought I was your bestie!" Tyler nudged his arm laughing. 

"Shut up Tyler. I can have more than one. I've got you all in a special compartment in my heart!" Marilyn said with a big cheesy grin, speaking like a woman in love. Bursting into laughter. "But really, I enjoy your company. You are a great friend. I consider you a best friend." 

Tyler actually felt worried that he'd upset him since he was trying to explain his friendships. " man, I understand. I was just joking. I'll see you later alright." 

* time skip 6pm*

Marilyn had ordered food and it had gotten there just before Johnny was set to arrive. He quickly restraightened the living room and kitchen. A part of him wanted to go out and flaunt there love but he knew it was safer here. Is that what this is? Love? Just a fling? Fuck buddies? What the fuck? Whatever! Marilyn don't worry about it, just let it happen. Marilyn was consumed in his thoughts when Johnny let himself in. 

"Marilyn. You here?" He called out, trudging heavy footed through the house.

"Yeah! In the kitchen!" 

Johnny turned the corner and entered the kitchen smiling.  They briefly exchanged awkward small talk while Marilyn fixed their plates. They decided not to watch a movie, but to just hang out instead. Marilyn sat across from Johnny at the table, rambling about various things. Johnny answered when appropriate. 

"So. Marilyn." Johnny flattened his hands in front of his face prayer style. 

Marilyn almost timidly looked up. "Yeah man, what's up?" 

"I think we both know what we're doing here man. Our friendship hasn't changed. It will never change. Forcing it to feel normal is making it feel not normal. We've gotta just be ourselves. You know, minus the fucking when people are around. I want to know where you stand with all of this." 

"Shit man. I feel the same. We shouldn't force being regular. We're pretty regular until we get horny." 

Johnny stood up and walked over to Marilyn's side of the table. He grasped his hand in his own and pulled him up.  "So what's the difference in when we'd meet up for dinner before vs now? How do I know if we're on a date?"  Johnny asked coyly, with a smirk. 

"The difference is we're fucking so I guess we feel like everyone knows. 2: I'm not that easy Mr.Depp." 

"So the difference is, does the night end in sex? Because I've not been on a lot of dates then." 

Johnny pulled himself closer to Marilyn, wrapping his arms around his waist smiling at him.

"No! Dork! I don't know. I guess we will just know. I mean do you want this to be a date?" Marilyn whispered, his face just inches away from Johnny's. 

"I mean, if that means you're going to invite in for tea afterwards?" Johnny let his lips meet Marilyn's. 

"Mmmm" Marilyn sighed against his lips in response . He broke away for a moment. "Then please consider this a date." Marilyn hoisted him up and sat on the corner of the table, attacking his lips and neck with kisses. 

"Ahhh, what about the food!" Johnny mumbled as his hand found a plate. Marilyn in one smooth sweep, knocked everything from the table into the floor, pushing Johnny to the center as he went.   
"What fucking food? You're the only thing I see here, and you look fucking delicious." Marilyn had a predatory smirk, he pressed himself against Johnny's groin hard, thrusting enough to gain a little friction. He let his hands roam over him, taking his t-shirt and jeans with them. As he continued to work himself against Johnny's now needy body, Johnny managed to slither him out of his own shirt between kisses. 

"I hope you clean this before you have guests over!"  Johnny whined as Marilyn gripped his cock in one hand, his lips sucking a nipple so delicately. 

"Don't use a black light."  Marilyn finally answered, while sitting back to remove his own pants, revealing he was naked underneath. 

"No intentions of it!" Johnny moaned out, using one of his hands to palm at Marilyn's hard cock. He was already slippery at the tip and Johnny smeared it around listening to the sweet moans that escaped as he did so.   
Marilyn's hands drift under the man and lift his hips pulling him in to meet his body, grinding against him for a moment before entering him. Once he hilted himself fully into him, he let his hands explore his body, rubbing over his hardened member and pelvis and up his abdomen. "Mmmmm, please." Johnny writhed against his body, rolling his hips to move himself on the cock inside of him. "I love what you do to me. That feels so fucking good." Marilyn growled in his deep roll, before pulling back and thrusting himself hard and deep into Johnny.   
Johnny's hands travel over Marilyn's body, feeling the small beads of sweat that covered his body as he moved within him. Their body's moved together in perfect rhythm. Marilyn wrapped his hand around Johnny's length and began to pump in time with his thrusts. 

"Right there, please don't stop." Johnny grunted. "Ahhh God, Man, just like that, shit, just like that, fuuuu, gah! Dude, I'm going to cum!" 

"Cum for me. Make me cum babe." Marilyn huffed as both he and Johnny began moving frantically pulling one another over the edge. Marilyn rested his head against  Johnny's stomach still holding his hips against him, both of them trying to catch their breath. 

Johnny moved beneath him, laying his body flat on the table. He felt the warmth of Marilyn's pleasure seeping out of him. He reached over for his jeans from the back of the chair beside him and pulled out his cigarettes, offering one to Marilyn who now lay beside him. 

Marilyn chuckled at the irony of the situation. "Man, I really don't want to clean that mess up. Why do you let me do stupid shit?" He asked taking a long drag from the cigarette. 

"I'll help you. And because your stupid ideas benefit me sometimes. Also this has been a good not date date." 

"Shut up you ass. Let's go do something? Or do you want to stay here and be weird with me?" 

"Marilyn, even if we leave this house, it's bound to still be weird. So..." 

Marilyn shoved him playfully so he was forced off of the table. "You're just as weird as I am!"

"Hush. Put your pants on!" Johnny tossed Marilyn's jeans onto his chest. 

"Dude! You want to like shower that off or something?" Marilyn retorted, somehow having neither of them on himself, sitting himself up on the edge of the table.

"No. I like wearing the evidence of our crimes." Johnny wiped off the bulk of his own from his abdomen, leaving the rest to dry into his skin.

Marilyn grabbed his arm and pulled him against him laughing at his comments as well as the surprised look on his face when he pulled him. "You're one disgusting slut aren't you?" Marilyn smirked at him.

"You have no idea. Don't ever black light me." Johnny responded suggestively. "All of our misdemeanors will show up." 

Marilyn nipped at his collar bone, letting his lips trail over him lightly. "Hmmmm. I'd love to see that." 

Johnny hissed as Marilyn bit down lightly on the tender flesh of his nipple. His body heating back up. "Damn..." He knotted his fingers into his hair pulling him back from him. "You've got to stop. We cannot do this all day." 

Marilyn let his hands roam in place of his mouth as He remained tightly restrained in Johnny's grip. "I agree. We need to do something else. But you're not very convincing Mr. Depp." Marilyn's raspy voice drolled out quietly, his hand snaking down his body, using his nails on his skin. He noticed Johnny was getting hard again, his bulge pressing at his newly zipped pants. 

"Man, you're so fucking bad. You're a terrible listener." Johnny spoke through gritted teeth. 

"I'm a great listener. I take directions well. Have I ever let you down?" He unzipped his pants again, freeing his cock. He slid off of the table and onto knees in front of him, wincing slightly as the fingers in his hair held their grip. 

"You look so good like this. I could get used to this view. Don't start letting me down now." Johnny pulled him closer to his cock, Marilyn licked the length of his shaft before taking him in.

It didn't take a long time and he was cumming down his throat. Marilyn gave him his widest smile, pulling himself up. "Now I'll put my pants on." 

They spent the remainder of the evening together just hanging out. Playing video games and watching tv.    
"You want a snack? Let's go to the diner? I want some fries." Johnny suggested.   
"Dude, seriously its 2 AM. They will be packed with drunks."   
"Yeah, it will be fun to watch."   
They drove down the few blocks to the diner. Marilyn got a waffle, Johnny just wanted some fries and a coke. They sat and ate and watched the drunk kids come and go.   
Johnny cleared his throat to speak. "So, you excited about the tour?" 

"Yeah. I'm stoked actually. I think Charlie is going to go for a few if the European dates. He wants to see what being a rockstar is like. It will be nice to have a buddy that's not in the band around." 

"Mmm." Johnny responded trying to mask his annoyance. "I'm sure that will be fun. Sorry I can't go with you guys. You know I would if I could. I am excited about the movie though." 

"Yeah, he may never want to talk to me again when we get back but it should be a good time. I know you'd go. I'm bummed I'm going to miss the premiere. I'm sure it will be great."

"When do you guys head out? For how long?" 

"In about a week we have the first date in Europe somewhere I believe. Be gone 2 months. The short stint before we do the long stretch in North America and the rest of Europe, that will go though the New Year into January. Like always I'm sure we'll meet up along the way." 

"Yeah, absolutely. We always do. Just let me know where you are." 

"You ready? I'm tired." Marilyn wanted to get in bed. He wanted Johnny to stay. 

They drove back and Johnny walked with him to the house. As Marilyn opened the door and stepped inside he noticed Johnny didn't come with him. "You coming in?" 

"No man. I'm going to get home alright. I'll see you tomorrow?" Johnny tried to keep his voice normal.

"Doubtful. I have to meet up with band, and crew and finish prep. I have a lot to do the next few days, you know how my manager gets. He doesn't like when I get distracted and shit. So I'm planning to focus on getting ready to go. I'll see you in a few days though. Ill text you stupid shit everyday."  Marilyn chuckled managing to keep the remorse in his voice at a minimum. 

"Cool. Alright let me know when you're free or need rescuing from them." Johnny added knowing Marilyn does get stressed out around this time and being around so many people. 

"Sure you don't want to stay tonight?" Marilyn asked throwing in his most pitiful pout. It was getting later, and Johnny needed to get home if he was going. He could have spent the night, but since they were going to separated for a while soon, he felt it better to keep himself in check. He shook that thought.

Marilyn extended his hand, and Jonny accepted it. "Fine you've convinced me." 

"Don't pull away. Please. I don't want us to feel awkward when I leave. That would be a worse distraction than you being there."

"I just don't want us to get stuck in something we can't handle or escape. Im never going to leave you. Or pull away from you."  Johnny spoke softly following him upstairs.  I'm fucking falling in love with you. No, I am in love with you. I wish we could talk about it and could just be what we are. He thought to himself. 

They settled into bed, both on their sides, pressed together. Johnny wrapping his arm around Marilyn. He peppered kisses over his shoulder. "Good night." 

Marilyn laced his fingers into Johnny's hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing his hand a few times. "Good night."


	5. Wake Up Alone

Marilyn struggled to sleep that night. He had anxiety about the tour, which always led to bad sleep and nightmares. He cozied up to Johnny for comfort, before he even drifted off, but still found himself tossing and turning. Morning rolled around and Marilyn guessed he'd dozed off pretty good after his last episode jolted him upright into Johnny's arms, it was 4:45AM then. Now it was 9:15AM Marilyn shot again up in the bed gasping for breath, hand clutched to his heart. He felt beside him for his lover but the place where Johnny should be is cold, Marilyn looked around the room, rubbing his eyes listening for sounds of him throughout the house. 

He drew back the curtains to let some light into the room for a better view. He was met with deafening silence, and emptiness. No note on the side table, no text on his phone. Marilyn began to panic, rushing about the house looking for him. Why would Johnny just leave him and not say goodbye? Why wouldn't he have stayed and comforted him when he knew how he got during touring season? He knew he had been obnoxious the night before, maybe way too needy during the night. He didn't think it would cause him to leave. 

All the bad things he could think he thought, then he stewed on it. Of course he needed to act like he didn't care, he wasn't going to call him or text him. He was to spiteful to just let things go. One of his biggest flaws and he knew it, which just fueled the fire seething inside of him. He stomped up his stairs to the shower. 

Marilyn was mostly calmed down after his shower, decided to start packing up his personal items he would need on tour in addition to stage clothes. About midway through demolishing his closets he'd made a hefty mess on the floor around him. Picking this and that throwing it to the side, choosing more, repeating the pattern. He had about 3 outfits packed which was hardly enough, nor were they even what he wanted. He was too glum to actually care, everything he picked made him feel self conscious, or was to flashy, to dull, to masculine, to feminine, to long, to short, to black, not black enough, to normal, to weird. Then of course he had accessories. He had enough of those to make Barbie jealous, what would he need for going out, appearances, casual. He didn't want any of it right now.

His stomach began to grumble, he'd definitely skipped breakfast, he looked at his phone to see what time it was now. It felt like minutes had passed however it was after 1:00. Marilyn sighed, tossing his phone onto the bed, he decided to figure out lunch. Johnny had sucked the life right out of him, and was simultaneously the very reason he felt alive at all. His phone lit up. Call from Johnny. He gritted his teeth and hissed at it. Letting it go to voicemail. Stomping back downstairs to make a sandwich, and stomping back upstairs with it.

Bing. His phone went off again. He rolled his eyes and opened he message.

Text from Johnny: hey man, just wanted to check in. I hope you slept alright after I left. Had to go, didn't want to wake you. I feel like you're pissed, well, I'm worried you're pissed I guess. I got a call this morning from my manager to meet him about a gig at 7:30. I left about 6. 

Text from Johnny: Do you want to get lunch and talk? I'll meet you anywhere you want to go. Just answer me so I know you're not upset.

Text from Johnny: *pouty face* Why do I look so sad? Huh, huh? What did you say? Because I'm not where?" 

Marilyn felt himself grinning much to his own dismay as he read the last message. He decided to reply.   
Because you're not with me. Dingus. I'm not upset with you. I've been trying to get my shit packed for the road. Yes lunch! Please feed meh! I just ate a half a ham sandwich. I don't even like ham, I'm not even actually sure where it came from.   
His finger lingered over send, as he chewed on his bottom lip before finally pressing send. 

*Bing* Text from Johnny: hehe sounds good. Want me to pick you up? Be there in 30?

Marilyn rushed to get himself together. For some reason he felt giddy, maybe knowing Johnny hadn't abandoned him? However he was still upset. He didn't understand why he even cared so much, they weren't a couple. Today he decided they would just be friends. He was leaving soon, Johnny was working soon, they'd be separated anyway. Now he just had to keep it together when he saw his face. He had to get hisself together and get feelings on lock or everything was going to fall apart. 

He heard Johnny buzz the gate so he ran out to meet him. He already knew the code so he didn't have to bother letting him in. He slid into the passenger seat, trying to seem as if nothing was wrong, while on the inside he felt both like he would burst and also catch fire from the anger that burned inside him as he flashed back the morning. "How's it going man? Good news from the boss?" 

"Yeah, another film lined up. So guess I'll be extra busy for a bit. About 8 months I think." 

"Wow, that'll be fun." Marilyn rested his elbow on the door and leaned on it. Johnny smiled at him, reaching his hand over to grab Marilyn's free hand. He scowled as Marilyn seemed to become very interested in picking at the thread of the hole in his jeans. 

"Where we going to eat?" Johnny asked sounding as casual as he could, trying to read the other man. 

"Where ever dude. Burgers or salad or some shit like that? Or do you want something fancy?" Marilyn asked casually at first, his voice becoming more agitated, and then mockingly sarcastic. 

"Burgers are fine if that's what you want. Why do you say it like that? Do I ever push anything fancy?" Johnny asked trying to match his tone in the end. 

"Just being silly, sorry man. Burgers would be good, or we could try that Korean place where we cook our own food. Didn't Lily say that place was good?" 

"Yeah she liked it. I think she went at night though and they had the Karaoke set up. So I'm not sure if she liked the food as much as she liked the party." 

"Korean it is!" Marilyn answered almost excitedly. He loved food, and karaoke, and drinking. No party needed. However he had to remind himself he was in no mood to drink. He could not let his bitter side have a bad time for one of the last times he'd see Johnny before he left. He wasn't even going to see him today at all originally, so he knew Johnny was trying to make it up to him. Regardless, he thought, we are not going home and having sex. I'm still mad, I'm not easy, and I've got to get over this while I'm gone. 

They pulled into the parking garage down a block from the restaurant. Johnny's hand brushing over Marilyn's shoulder, his finger tips rubbing lightly at his hair line on his neck. He felt Marilyn tense at first and then relax into the soothing touch. "Hey" Johnny spoke softly. "I know you're upset with me for leaving and not telling you." He poked him trying to get a smile. "I promise I didn't want to get out of your bed, I looked forward to waking up with you. I look forward to all of our secrets and stolen moments" He grabbed Marilyn's chin gently and turned his face to look at him. "You're my best everything, I don't want you to be upset with me before you leave. If you want or need to have some space before you go, I can understand that. Can you grant me forgiveness and maybe a last date until you're back?" Marilyn smiled and Johnny chuckled before continuing. "No sex required to make it a date. We're just too buddies having lunch together, and maybe you'll hold my hand in the car on the way home, where maybe you'll do me the honor of one more kiss?" Johnny looked him deep in the eyes. He wished they could stop this stupid game and just be together. A smile spread over Marilyn's face before he answered.   
" I forgive you for leaving me, it's not like we're a couple, I don't expect you to stay. We both have lives. Sure this can be a lunch date, and I'll consider the rest."

"I'll take it!" Johnny grinned and got out of the car. He met Marilyn on his side, wondering why he hadn't gotten out. He opened his door. " whatcha doing?" 

"I'm coming." Marilyn grumbled in response before grabbing Johnny's shirt and pulling him down. He'd been assessing the view from various angles in his mind as he plotted his move. He pulled him halfway into his side of the car, planting a major kiss on his lips. When he made contact he knew it was game over. He'd lost before he even began. He let his lips part as Johnny began to take over the kiss, exploring his mouth with his tongue, he wrapped a hand around his neck pulling back at him with the same force Marilyn held him with. Finally they had to break the kiss to breathe. "So I guess we're good?" Johnny laughed scratching the back of his own head awkwardly. 

"Yeah, we're good." Marilyn stepped out of the car as they began the trek to the restaurant trading various topics of small talk. 

The restaurant was dimly lit, and soft music played in the background setting the tone for the establishment. Yep, this is frikin date. Marilyn thought as he looked around the place. Johnny looked at him and winked slyly at him, as they were seated. 

Eventually they finished their meal, and decided to blow a few hours walking around the town. They checked out several vintage stores and a few thrift stores, even a record shop. "Dude, we need to come rummage this place more often." Marilyn suggested as he wrapped a hot pink feather boa around his neck from a trunk at a vintage shop. 

"Yeah man! These places have the coolest stuff." Johnny answered before looking up. "My god man! What are you doing?" He laughed as he took in the site of Marilyn, being, well, Brian, dressed in his most "normal" jeans and a band shirt, swinging this boa around, making pin-up sultry faces at him. "Just trying to be fancy, you know like my namesake!" He joked back. Johnny had put on an old hat and a duster jacket that looked way fancier than anything he would normally wear. He found a monocle and squeezed it on his eye. "M-yes, I think I do approve old chum" he used one of his many voices to sound like a proper Englishman from long ago. "my dearest, I fear we must get going if we plan to catch the picture show." His voice slipped into a more southern Rhett Butler gentlemanly sound.   
"Oh dear. I seem to be without chaperone, how could I eva accompany you to such a thing? What would my fatha think if he heard, I'd been in a dark pictu-ah show with such a gentleman all by my self? Well I just couldn't!" Marilyn retorted in his best southern belle.   
They both burst into laughter, catching the attention of the clerk in the store. "Hey! You cannot play with things! Please put those down unless you intend to buy them!" He shouted angrily at the two men. Johnny keeping his face as hidden as he could walked up to the counter, slapped down a hundred and nodded at the man. "Keep the change" he mumbled, not even knowing if he'd left enough. He took hold of Marilyn's hand and ran out of the store before the clerk had time to respond, laughing the entire way.   
"Dude, did you seriously just pay for this stuff, what the fuck am I going to do with a hot pink boa animal thing and what are you going to do with that mess?" 

"I am enjoying the moment, and I'm sure there's plenty to be done with them! Hell next week maybe I'll come sell them back to the store, but for now, aren't you always telling me to loosen up and live?" 

"This is not what I meant!" Marilyn slapped his arm

"Well darling you'll just have to be more specific! Only the finest for my prospect. I do intend on asking your father for permission to court." Johnny answered very matter of fairly still in his Rhett Butler role. 

"Oh, boy!" Marilyn replied flatly, though inside he was very excited about this entire event. That was the most fun he'd had in a while. Best of all, they'd gone undetected all the way back to the car, just to top off the afternoon. 

Once at the car they shoved their purchases into the trunk and slid into their seats. Marilyn gladly held Johnny's hand this trip. "Want me to help you pack? What day do you leave?" 

"You just want to get into my house for some hanky panky! Well sir I'm not that easy! And day after tomorrow." 

"Well shit, nothing gets by you does it?" Johnny replied most sarcastically. "I genuinely meant to help you, you ass, and I know you're not easy." 

Brief awkward silence

"You're not easy to start with, but you are pretty easy to slip into!" Johnny mumbled.

"What was that dickwad?" Marilyn asked accusingly.

"I said, I'm going to miss slipping into bed with you. You know... like, I'll miss you and shit."

"That. Is. Not. What. You said . Mister" Marilyn shook his finger.

"No, but I really will miss you." 

They rounded the corner to his house, and Johnny pulled into his driveway, putting the car into park, Johnny undid his seat belt and turned to face Marilyn. "So, about that kiss? You finish thinking about it?" 

Marilyn nodded wide eyed, feeling shy for whatever reason. Johnny simply took his silence as permission and hooked a finger under his chin ever so gently, he pulled him forward to meet his lips. He softly connected his lips with the other mans. Feeling Marilyn relax, he decided to let his hands wonder a little, he ran his fingers smoothly over this arm down to his wrist, before cupping his hand over Marilyn's, squeezing lightly, while placing the other hand around his waist deepening the kiss with more passion. He broke the kiss briefly, making eye contact for a second, before moving back to his lips hungrily. He kissed him hard, as if he'd never kiss him again. Which he thought, he might not. A lot can happen in 8months. Marilyn's hands traveled over Johnny's biceps eliciting a soft moan from his own mouth. Johnny crooned at the noise and the sensation as his fingers continued tracing over his muscles. He traced them as if he were mapping them in his mind, Johnny thought it was interesting since he'd never really paid much attention to his definition before. Johnny felt the heat rising inside of himself, his jeans getting a little uncomfortable. He let his hand trail over Marilyn's thigh, inching towards his crotch until he could tell he was experiencing the same dilemma. With that he pressed himself forward, arching their bodies together, pressing Marilyn more against the door. Their hands exploring one another as fingers slipped under shirts. Marilyn's cock was begging for release from the confines of his tight jeans. His fingers trailed along Johnny's spine, pulling him into his body more as Johnny's hands ran over his sides, and down his back slipping just the tips into the back of his jeans. He tugged his fingers around the waist band finding the button in the front, he snapped it open and worked the zipper down. Marilyn mewled breathlessly at the gesture pushing his hips forward for better access as he felt fingers toying with the elastic on his underwear. He let his own hands dance along the other mans body, slowly undoing his belt buckle and popping the button fly open. His hand gently grazing the shaft of the hard member in front of him. Johnny moaned at the touch, and returned the gesture, causing Marilyn to breathe in deeply holding his breath for a moment. 

After a few minutes of heavy breathing, exploring hands and making out like hormone driven teenagers Marilyn broke the kiss, resting his hands gently on Johnny's leg. He had a look of deep remorse in his eyes as he spoke. "I need to get inside and finish packing. I've still got to meet up with the band and settle everything. We'll talk while we're apart. I'm going to miss you." 

Johnny tried to catch his breath, and make sense of what was happening. He ran his fingers through his hair plopping himself back into the drivers seat, nodding his head yes. "Yeah we'll talk, we always do. I'm going to miss you also. Be safe!? Sure you don't want my help?"

"I don't think you're going to be much help in the packing area,"

"I'll pack myself right into you..." 

Marilyn blinked at the statement, stone faced. 

"Seriously, That the best butt sex joke you got man?"  
"Right now, yes. I'm not exactly working with complete blood flow ya know." Johnny replied pointing at the hardened bulge in his underwear. He re buttoned his pants, Marilyn did the same. He stepped out of the car and leaned forward back into the car. "I'll call you when I'm done. Maybe you can accept a late night booty call? 

"I'll see what I can do!" Johnny answered before driving off. 

Marilyn thought to himself that was the dumbest thing, now he was going to have blue balls for who knows how long. He had an ache in his dick and his heart that no amount of jerking off was going to fix. 

*Time lapse. Heading out on tour*

Marilyn and the band were all packed and ready to go. The European tour was kicking off and he was excited to go. He was bummed to be leaving Johnny behind, he also hadn't seen him since he dropped him off two days ago, but he was excited to be busy. Charlie was on his way and would hang out for the first stretch of the tour so he'd have someone other than the band to talk too. For now, he had a party to attend was ready to get it going.

Charlie and his buddies drove up to the hotel where the party was taking place. Once he found Marilyn he gripped his shoulder. " Hey man, ready to do this shite?"

"Yeah man, ready as I can be! Just hope you still like us after traveling with me!" 

Charlie let his eyes scan over Marilyn's body, lingering longer than he should, before looking over the rest of band for good measure. "I can't think of anything you could do to make me dislike you." He answered taking a sip of his beer, turning on his heels with a nod, to mingle a little elsewhere while he processed what he'd just done, and giving Marilyn time to comprehend and respond appropriately.   
I mean, what else did he invite me on tour for? Charlie reasoned with himself. This was going to be an interesting tour that's for sure. He really hoped anyway.


	6. Touring

The first few days of tour were standard. Airport, luggage, taxi, hotel, layover. Finally 3 days travel total, they had reached their first show destination. Charlie was beyond grateful that Marilyn decided to take it easy on him and their first night in Rome was going to be a night off. Everyone needed to actually sleep and get ready for what was coming. The next week they had a show every single night, in a different city.   
"You ready for this? Shits going to start getting crazy." Marilyn asked.

"Yeah, Man. Let's do this shit. I know I'm not going to be doing much of anything but tagging along and site seeing but if you need to put me to work man, I'm here." 

"Nah, no room on the payroll. Fully staffed. If you're looking for something to do though Im sure I can keep you busy." Marilyn raised his eyebrows suggestively as he spoke. 

"I'm sure you can." Charlie chuckled awkwardly "but um. What's the plan for real?" 

"Let's see. Show tomorrow, sleep, food and sleep again for today. I guess we can go see some shit if you want too. I'm not sure what the other guys are going to be up too." 

"Well I'm cool if it's just us or whatever. What's good in Rome?" Charlie asked inquisitively. 

"Hmmm from where we are, last year we all ate at this pretty cool restaurant, I think it was in midtown. Not far from here. Want me to call the car? We can go there." 

"Yeah. That be cool. Heh, call the car... oh to be Mister Superstar." Charlie was being sarcastic on purpose. 

"Shut up ass hat. I don't have a license. Plus I couldn't drive here even if I did. They drive all backwards and shit! It would be a big mess." Marilyn flails his arms in front of him as if showcasing a pictures. "Imagine, the Headlines. Marilyn Manson runs down half of Rome on crazy driving spree!" He laughed. "They'd make it seem like I did it on purpose, not that I'm just confused or some shit like anyone else. Nah dude, I'll call the car." 

"Not the bad press you want huh?" 

"Nope, already going to be a storm brewing just because you're here with me." 

"Why?"

Marilyn ignored the question and called his driver. He took a drag from the cigarette he'd forgotten about. He scrolled through his phone while he waited. Johnny text him. 

Hope you made it okay. Text me and shit man. Gonna miss my bestie! Emojis! 

Marilyn laughed quietly when he read the message. He didn't know what hold he had on him, but he liked the way it felt. However he was still pissed about his running out and their sketchy behavior. Marilyn had lived a lot, paid his dues, done enough stupid shit, by now he should be able to freely be with whom ever he wanted too just like everyone else. He thought to himself about what to say. He wasn't feeling particularly spiteful at the moment.

Hey man. We just got into Rome a few hours ago. Charlie and I>scratch that. Delete delete... some of us are going to eat. Of course I'll text you. I'll call you after the show tonight. 

The car pulled around and they both got in. 

*time lapse* show time

"Alright muthas it's go time!" Tyler shouted as they crawled out of the bus they took to the venue.   
"Tyler always gets excited like this." Marilyn drolled. "It's good for morale" Tyler responded shoving Marilyn off the bottom step.   
"Hey man, boss abuse is a crime!"   
"Boss abuse? More like elderly abuse!"  
"You fucking asshole! Why do I keep you around?"  
"Because you looove me!" Tyler swooned his voice. Marilyn hooked an arm around his head pulling him into him laughing. They trudged forward into the venue to get ready. Charlie stood to the side trying to stay out of the way as much as he could. 

"Hey, you can come in with me. I have a dressing room separate. Before you say it, it is not because I'm spoiled, it's because all the shit goes into this room also and no one else would have room to get ready in here also." 

"Right!" Charlie teased following behind. 

Text from Johnny  
Good luck at the show. Knock em out! 

Marilyn involuntarily beamed at the text. 

Don't I always? Either them or me! I plan on leaving sooo... he replied.

Text from Johnny  
Well. You know what I mean. Wish I was there.

Yeah me too... lips emoji. Marilyn replied.

You're on in ten! The stage manager called out. Marilyn rolled his eyes, finishing up his make up and lacing his boots. Charlie cracked a grin at him, only not actually meaning too. 

"What? Why are you staring at me... like. that.?"  Marilyn asked confused with his head cocked to the side and his cheeks turning red. 

"Oh. Hmmm. Sorry man, I was just thinking about how cool it is to get see all the behind the scenes stuff ya know." Charlie shook his head, darting his eyes hoping to seem natural. 

"See you after the show!" Marilyn walked out the door, Charlie followed to where he would stand to watch. Equipped with ear plugs just in case it was actually too loud. 

Once he show concluded Marilyn and the guys came bounding down the hall, sweaty and worn out but reeling off of adrenaline and cocaine. 

"Hey Hunnam! You going to the after party with us?!" Tyler called out walking with Gil and Paul. 

"After party? Sure I guess." 

Marilyn caught him off guard walking up behind him, clasping his shoulder. "I'm not going, you don't have too if you don't want too. I'll go to some but not the first night. Plus I've got meet and greets to get through, those ass wipes always abandon me claiming no one cares to see them. THATS NOT TRUE THOUGH!"  He shouted the last part, getting the finger from everyone. 

"Cool, Yeah, I'm not big into parties. You want to eat? I could get some food and bring it to you. I noticed you didn't eat anything from the set up earlier, and I'm assuming you're not going to eat any of the food that they've put out now."

Marilyn chuckled, no one had ever called him out on that before. He couldn't eat it, he didn't know who touched it, where it came from, how long it had been there. So many possibilities for germs and stuff to get inside him. "Yeah, nope. I leave the snacks for everyone else. I have my own stuff my crew brings in for me though. So I'm good. However if you're going to get something for you..." he trailed off not needing to complete the thought. 

"Cool. Be back in a bit."


	7. Sequins

The tour was going great the first few weeks flew by. Everyone was having a good time together, no quarrels or drama, they were all tired, but happy and excited. Marilyn and Johnny had yet to catch up as originally planned, but neither of them really had time. Of course they were bummed, maybe a little saddened by it but the pressed on. Texting between the two started to lessen as the speed of life prevented them from doing so, or from remembering. The drift was happening and neither of them wanted to admit it, though neither of them could deny it. 

Marilyn sat in his current hotel room, reading a book, well looking at a book, while being lost in thoughts a million miles away. He was getting depressed really, he'd tried to call Johnny. Again. This was the third day he'd called and there was no answer, nor a return. No text. Marilyn had been holding himself together this entire time, he had even been skipping out on all the parties just to stay sober. He had promised not to go overboard and he knew the only way he could keep that promise every night was to skip out all together. He didn't understand what was going on, maybe he was too clingy, maybe Johnny was enjoying this time away from him. He thought every bad terrible thing he could think. 

After a while he decided he should probably do something, anything but lie in his misery. He was being more antisocial than usual, and it wouldn't take long for the band to notice. Everyone would want to know what was wrong and how they could fix it. Worst of all everyone would think it's girl problems unknowingly that it's man problems, but they'd all be curious as to who she is. He threw on some day clothes and text everyone he could tolerate at this point in his nihilistic mood. He was in one of his favorite cities and it decided it would be a shame to not get into something while he was here. Tyler and Charlie responded first, he decided they'd get to pick what they did, so if anyone else chose to join them the plan would be set and he didn't have to any organizing.   
Text from Tyler:  
Yo, Mari! Yeah let's chill, I'm bored as fuck, just sitting at a coffee shop a few blocks away. 

Text from Charlie:  
What do you want to do? You love Berlin so much, just let me know and I'll tag along to what ever trouble to get me into. Im with Gil and Paul, they are also down. 

Reply to Tyler:  
Fucker, ima ignore Mari... but anyway, Charlie, Gil, and Paul all want to do some shit too. We don't have a show tonight so you wanna check out a club later? For now we can be tourists! 

Reply to Charlie:  
Cool, Tyler and I are going to meet up at a coffee shop, I forgot to ask him which one, but I'll text you and just meet us there. We're going to be tourists and then hit up a club tonight.

Text from Charlie:  
Sounds good. You meeting Tyler now? Just let me know place. We're in town so...

Reply to Charlie:  
*thumbs up emoji*

Reply to Tyler:  
What shop you at? 

Text from Tyler:   
Can't pronounce it but this is it! 

 

Reply to Tyler:  
Okay... sooooo where is that? 

Text from Tyler:  
Geschwister Nothaft Café Schwarzastraße 9, 12055  
It is like 10 minutes from where you are if you're are the hotel.

(Authors note: this is a real place. I have never been there, I do not know where it is or if it's good, but it has a lot of positive reviews on Google and looks really neat on the inside. Maybe check it out if you're ever there. It looks like a place Tyler would go.)

Marilyn forwarded the text to everyone and got himself ready to go. Once everyone was together they decided to site see like they'd never been there before. Which consisted mostly of harassing tour guides and asking questions they already knew the answers to. 

They decided to grab some lunch after the third place. Charlie kept trying to come up with reasons for him and Marilyn to end up alone. Just long enough for him to flirt a little. They grabbed some food from a kiosk vender and headed over to a park. It was nice and quiet in the park, it had the allure of date potential for someone who wanted that. A pretty fountain majestically flowed in the center. Florals and greenery lined the walk ways in abundant amounts. Several maintained grassy areas were spread about. A large golden dome topped building and entrance gate to a larger fielded area were at the back of the park, adding elegance to the back splash. The park was beautiful, so beautiful all the men commented on it. Saying things like, "in America we would put a mall here" "this is probably the most peaceful park I've ever seen."   
Charlie on the other hand was busy admiring another form of beauty. While the men were occupied trying to find somewhere they wanted to sit, he hung back to walk beside Marilyn.   
"You know, this place is amazing. We have places like this in England." 

"Yeah, it's amazing how in such a big city there is such a pretty place. I wish I could take a piece of it home. It's relaxing." 

"I bet a lot of people take couple photos here, or get married. In America this would a be prime wedding venue, I bet." 

"Yeah, probably. I've never understood all the hoopla about those things. I mean I've done it, and I only half way understood it then. Anyway, did you see a restroom? I need to wash my hands."

"Probably under that golden thing."

Marilyn and Charlie went over the restroom after they'd found a place to sit. 

"Wow! This looks like a castle! It's so shiny, and huge! Such a shame my dirty self is about to defile it by simply entering it. You know, how I defile most things! It's to pretty for someone like me." Marilyn spoke in genuine awe of the vestibule that was well decorated with minimal signage as to where things were located. Nothing to take away from the beauty put into making the place. They followed the arrow to the restroom.

"It's not too pretty for you." 

"How you figure? Every beautiful thing I touch breaks." 

"That's because your too beautiful for those things." Charlie answered almost a whisper as his cheeks flushed. He kept his hands under the water as if he were intently washing them. 

Marilyn just looked at him, head cocked to the side. "Yeah, okay." 

"I'm serious. You shouldn't put yourself down. You're an attractive dude, you have a lot going for you. For anyone able to keep up with you... um" his voice trailed off. "What I mean is, maybe the pretty things break because they try to hard to be as amazing as you, but they can't quite do it. So they crack." 

"That's a thought." 

They finished up and met up with the others. Marilyn kept thinking about what Charlie said and Charlie kept thinking about what Marilyn must think. He didn't want to be to forward and ruin what they have, but he didn't want to let an opportunity slip him by. He figured he had some time. He didn't need to rush anything. 

"Well where to now gentlemen?" Tyler asked finishing up his lunch. 

"Hmmm? Shopping?" Marilyn asked

"Seriously, you're like hanging out with a little sister. Let's go SHOPPING!" Tyler sing songed in his best obnoxious female voice.

"Shut up man, I like what I like!" 

"I'm down for shopping, what about you guys" Charlie answered  
The other men were fine with it, they wanted to look for some things while they were here anyway. They packed up what they had and Marilyn called the car to take them to the nearest area with the most stores.

"Oooooo look at this! LOOK AT THIS SHIRT!" Marilyn squealed uncharacteristicly. Charlie raised an eyebrow, the other men laughed, used to this behavior. "IT IS SO SHINY! LOOK AT THE SEQUINS!" He was giddy with genuine excitement. It was a bright red chiffon and leather cap sleeve baby doll blouse. For a young party girl no doubt. 

"Brian. First of all, you do not need anymore sequins, we are drowning in them. Second of all, this is for a little girl. Which you are not." Tyler droned out on a put on paternal tone, teasing him. 

"That's what you think, shit head." Marilyn rolled his eyes, and mumbled to himself. 

"I heard you dork brains." 

"I didn't even want it, I just thought it was pretty. Geez, you fun sucker!" Marilyn pouted

Charlie wasn't sure if the pout was genuine or if he was just teasing back. Either way it made him upset that someone would take his joy away like that. He'd never seen him display such happiness about anything. Even if he didn't actually want the shirt, he thought it fun and pretty. Charlie didn't see anything wrong with that. I'd wear it if he asked me too. Charlie thought to himself. "Well I think it's pretty great. I like shiny things. I'm kind of like a cat!" Charlie laughed, noticing Tyler had pulled Marilyn into an awkward "we're tussling but we're cool" kind of headlock hug. They were both laughing so he decided not to intervene.   
"See he likes it!" Marilyn huffed out muffled, head smashed into Tyler's armpit.

"He doesn't count! He's just your carry on! I have to live with you for months at a time!" Tyler got out between struggled breaths and laughs.

They crashed into a display, knocking the entire thing over. Little lotion bottles, boxes and plastic display stands went flying everywhere. Charlie, Gil, and Paul all stood with their mouths hanging open, as Marilyn and Tyler sat in the wreckage wide eyed, laughing hysterically. An angry sales lady marched over to them. She had "I need to talk to the manager hair" and a power suit. Marilyn and Tyler stood before she reached them, and pointed wide eyed at each other, like children. Then they pointed at the other three men. Marilyn grabbed Tyler's hand and darted towards the door laughing the entire way.   
"Hey! Come back here! You need to pick this up!"   
The other men finally took in what just happened and they ran to the door, the lady yelling the entire time. 

Once they all caught up, Marilyn was holding his side from laughing so much. Charlie noticed how soft Marilyn's typically hard features were when he was beaming from laughter, and his cheeks were reddened. He fought himself over the desire he had to kiss those smiling lips and hold his shaking frame as he giggled along with his friends. Charlie shook the thought quickly and caught up with them. 

They left the shopping mall to head back to the hotel. They each had bags to stuff into the car and then to lug up to their rooms. They all got various random things, some clothes, a pair of boots Paul loved and got to wear for shows, candy, a hat, some toys just because and one red sequined shirt hidden away from the other bags. Charlie had snuck it, he'd gotten it to be funny, he thought he'd just laugh it off and give it to him at the next get together they had that involved gifts. Then he had a better idea.


	8. Whose your Daddy?

The guys walked into lobby carrying their things up to the their rooms. All of them wanted to freshen up before they went out. They all decided to meet in Marilyn's room at 8 to go to dinner and then the club. 

"So what are we eating?" Marilyn asked, not wanting to dictate everything. 

"There was a pub in town. Anyone want that?" Paul suggested quietly. 

"A pub could be good. Bring on the pregame!" Gil agreed. 

Tyler shook his head, not really caring one way or the other. He just wanted a decent meal. 

"I have no opposition to a pub" Charlie added, shrugging his shoulders. 

"The Brit wants the pub. Anyone surprised?" Tyler joked. Marilyn pulled a T-shirt over his head, dressing way down from his normal attire. 

"Sounds good to me." Marilyn agreed. "We ready?" 

All the men nodded, Marilyn called the driver to pick them up. They all piled into the van, shouting and talking about the things they wanted to do when they got to the bar. They all voted yes to Karaoke, and they all planned to find some chick for Marilyn to hook up with. "I don't want too hook up with some girl from a bar." 

"Dude, Yeah, But you need to get laid." Paul quipped 

"You don't know what I do or don't do when I'm not with you all."

"I know that you're single and you're too shy to just be hooking up with people when we aren't around."

Marilyn raised his brow and smirked. "Again, kid. You have no idea what I'm doing when you're not around."

Charlie looked mildly concerned. Maybe he'd been completely wrong and misread everything. "I bet you've got a girlfriend in every country don't you? That's why you're ditching us all the time."

"Sure, yes of course that's it. Not even Depp could afford to have a chick in every country. Women get expensive. Kid, take my advice. If she's got three names, and one of them isn't the name her daddy gave her, or she has to wear 6 inch Louis Vuitton's for the top of her head to meet your shoulder and only Louis Vuitton will do. You can't afford her, You can't trust her and she WILL cost you more money than the trouble to appease her is worth. Unless of course you're not very attached to your soul." Marilyn finished and went back to his phone. 

"Shit, Man. I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to be an ass." Paul replied, realizing that he'd struck a nerve despite Marilyn's sarcastic tone. Tyler placed a firm hand on his shoulder getting his attention. He shook his head no at him to just drop it. Paul nodded in understanding. He joined Tyler and Gil's conversation about guitars and drums.

They finally pulled up at the restaurant, piling out of the van they all rushed inside. "Ahhh I am so hungry!!!!!!!" Tyler exaggerated his speech. They all shared a few pitchers of beer and ate their meals. 

"I'm just saying, I think that sea otters are like women. My ex was insane. Have you ever seen an otter up close?! They look all cute and sweet and then they claw your eyes out!" Gil went on.

"You know what I love? I love the platypus. The platypus makes me believe in a higher power. Because who ever made those has a very good sense of humor. And it's oddly cute and adorable. Like me." Marilyn threw in.

"Sooo. You're like a platypus!!!!" Paul quipped. 

Charlie and Tyler were laughing so hard they couldn't breathe, just nagging it on. 

Marilyn laughed as well. "Yes, call me King of the Platypie! Would plural be pie or still pus?" 

"I want some pie!" Paul slurred out. 

"Oh god! You would want pie. They don't even have that in the menu."Charlie giggled at him. 

The waitress finally brought their checks, looking more than relieved they'd be leaving soon. The all filed out of the pub and into their van. 

They arrived at the club, Paul and Gil were actually a little taken back. They hadn't expected to be at what appeared to be Goth night, or a goth club. The few people outside the club were heavily decorated in appropriate attire for such an event. Apparently they hadn't noticed that the "Goth" scene out here was significantly larger than than in the states. They were every where and there attire was much more detailed than some of the stuff in the states. 

Marilyn arched a brow at them amused with them. "Told you it was safe for me to just go out around here." The band knew that on their own they were each way less recognizable than Marilyn and Tyler, they had expressed their concerns about them going out sans vip. As Marilyn so often just does what he wants anyway he waved them off and looked forward to a normal persons night out. Granted these were their people. Even if he were to be recognized, he was literally in one of the safest places someone like him could be. At most a person or two might get brave and ask for an autograph, but in his experience, most of them let him be, and just enjoyed seeing him have a good time. Of course people spoke to him, but not much differently than anyone might speak to someone they'd just met in a bar. This was a part of why he loved Berlin. He loved so much about it, but the alt influence was heavy in subculture and appreciated and respected by most. Many people wouldn't give you a second glance here, simply based on your attire. Marilyn genuinely loved this city for its acceptance of the scene, people like him, often called his people had a safe place to express who they were, outside of his shows. How could he not love it. 

They walked into the loud club, the only VIP thing Marilyn had done was bypass the line waiting to get in. Colored lights were flashing, a strobe light was blinking around, neon glow sticks were everywhere, EDM blasted from the DJ speakers. Body's were thrashing around, grinding on each other, dancing all on the dance floor. A few tables were set up here and there for people, and the bar area was packed with people waiting for drinks. 

Paul noticed most people had some sort of tag on their arm, and girls with trays of shots were walking around. She'd scan the tag of anyone who asked for a shot. Paul thought it was strange, a lot of them must get stolen. Marilyn explained to him the tag was linked to your tab when you set it up. Then all you do when she comes by is show her your tag. Of course some people try to just take them, but for the most part people were honest. 

"That's amazing. This would never work in the states huh? People would be stealing stuff and trying to grope those poor girls." Gil stated. Unfortunately everyone agreed that it was likely true, back home they'd be mistaken as strippers or something and some drunken party boy would think it's okay to touch them. 

Everyone made their way over to the bar. "You know what I love about you Mari?" Tyler asked. Charlie chuckled at the name. 

"I'm guessing you're gonna tell me huh?" Marilyn asked coyly, as he raised a finger at the bartender to place drink orders. 

"You're so tall, we don't have to wait in line." Tyler giggled, obviously already buzzed from the beer at the pub.

"You're so hot they can't ignore you!" Charlie added 

This statement caused Marilyn to turn his head and look at him. He was still smiling from the previous statement, but he felt confused. 

"You're an odd bird Hunnam." Marilyn laughed pulling him into a weird bro hug. 

"Well it is totally true. If you read the shit people say about you on Instagram and shit, you'd understand." Gil scoffed rolling his eyes. It annoyed him sometimes that he didn't interact with his fan base at all really on social media. He was seriously out of touch with some of his fans thoughts. Gil understood he wanted to avoid seeing the negative stuff but the good things outweigh the bad stuff 10-1 and anytime someone said something bad, like fifteen people would jump to his defense. 

"Yeah Daddy! It's totes true!" Paul said pretending to smack gum as he twirled his hair. This caused everyone except Marilyn to laugh. He got the drinks from the bartender and handed him a card to open the tab. The bartender didn't even ask for his ID, he didn't need too. The name on the card matched the face in front of him, he just nodded and went to the register. 

Once Marilyn got everything passed out to everyone they walked over to a table, where they then ordered several rounds of shots at once. Marilyn raised his drink, let's toast. 

"To making Paul call me Daddy!" 

They all burst into laughter again. Paul was after all the youngest one in the band. Now his cheeks turned red and he was embarrassed. "Should have known you'd turn that around on me!" He laughed downing his drink. 

"Let's play a drinking game. Open your Instagrams and read me this stuff you want me to see. For every girl that calls me daddy take a shot!" Marilyn proposed. 

"Marilyn, we will not walk out of here if we do that. Seriously, we will all die!" Tyler added. 

"I don't have social media, so this should be loads of fun!" Charlie added. 

"Also Paul has to call me Daddy for the remainder of this tour! Shouldn't have pointed it out sweetheart!" Marilyn teased him. 

"I hate you!" Paul smirked, but nodded. He knew they wouldn't let him out of it. Even if they were drunk, they'd remember that. 

"That's no way to speak to your daddy boy!" Gil laughed, clutching his side from cramps.

After about 10 minutes they had consumed collectively about 50 shots and Marilyn ended the game, realizing they really would die if they kept going. They all agreed to meet back at the van at last call, as they went into the crowd of people.


	9. The Beat of the Music

The music pounded around them, a drunk girl was grinding against Marilyn, she was pretty enough he thought. Paul and Gil were chatting up some girls while they jumped up and down to the music. Tyler rested against the bar, sipping on a seltzer water, talking to a man and woman that spoke decent English. Tyler has a wife and kids back home and he is a faithful man, won't even go out on the dance floor. Charlie was so out of his element he was thankful for the alcohol in his system, as he jumped along side Gil and Paul. 

The girl dancing with Marilyn was shouting something at him, but he didn't really understand. "You do not speak any German do you?"

"Not a word!" Marilyn laughed, letting her do her thing. 

"I speak English so that's okay, you have a show here tomorrow night right?" She shouted over the music.

"I do. Are you going to be there?"

"I am. My friends and I bought the meet and greets. I now see that was a waste of money! They are never going to forgive me for this." She laughed taking his hand and putting it on her hip. "It's okay for you to touch me. Do you want a drink?" 

"Nah, I'm good for now." He let his hand rest on her hip. She leaned back resting her head on his shoulder, she hooked an arm around his neck. The room swirled around them, the music mixed with the lights. Despite the fact that she was a fan, he was actually having fun with her. He figured there was no harm in her, he and Johnny had an understanding. He just let go, wrapping his arms around her tighter as they swayed around her hips grinding into him. He let one hand trail up her side, and he rested it at the smallest part of her waist. 

"Your big hands feel good on my body." She said calmly into his ear. She let her free arm find its way up his thigh and hooked her thumb into his belt loop. He nuzzled his face into her neck, taking in her scent. 

Charlie looked around looking for Marilyn. He was feeling fearless in his drunken state. He figured if he was going to make a move, tonight was the night. He wasn't tagging along for many more show dates, he was running out of time. He finally spotted Marilyn, now cozied up with a woman. He sat on a bar stool and she stood between his legs. They were making out pretty hard. Instead of feeling angry or as if he should give up, he felt challenged. He accepted. 

Charlie snapped a picture of them, to show him tomorrow his bad taste in women. The woman was actually really pretty and well put together, she was merely not Charlie's type, and she wasn't Charlie. He wanted to be wedged between those legs, kissing those beautiful perfect lips. Dammit he was going to be! Charlie marched right over to them and tapped Marilyn on the shoulder. Marilyn pulled away from his lady friend and looked over at Charlie. "You having fun over here?" He asked sarcastically into his ear. 

"Well I was until you interrupted us!" Marilyn laughed. 

"Well I didn't want you to get arrested when this gets a little too intense." He jokes back

"Good looking out man." 

The girl looked slightly confused as to why Charlie wouldn't leave them alone. Marilyn removed his hands from her body and rested them on his legs. Charlie again leaned in and whispered into his ear, "will you come with me?" He used a suggestive tone. 

Marilyn cleared his throat and nodded. "Sorry Miss. I need to go take care of my friend. He's apparently had a lot to drink! I look forward to seeing tomorrow at the show!" He stood and gently made his way around her. She looked stunned for a moment, before nodding understandably at the situation. "See you tomorrow." She smiled at him. Marilyn rushed after Charlie who was already disappearing into the crowd again. 

When he finally pushed his way through and caught up with him, Charlie grabbed his hand and pulled himself into his body. For a moment Marilyn stood stiff, he wasn't sure what was happening. Charlie answered that for him. "I've been watching you all night. Dance with that girl. I want to be that girl." 

Again for a second Marilyn looked confused like he was being tricked. "you want to be a girl?" Marilyn asked over the music. Charlie pulled his arms around his waist and turned around so his back was pressed against his chest and he hooked an arm around his neck. He stood up on his toes and pulled Marilyn's head down as if he were going to tell him something. Instead he licked him from the furthest part he could reach to behind his ear, nipping at his ear lobe lightly before pulling his head away. Marilyn let out a whispered moan at the feeling. Charlie reached his free hand over and gripped the fabric of Marilyn's skin tight jeans, pulling them closer together as he ground his ass into him, moving to the beat of the music. I've wanted this for so long. I hope there's a part of you that wants me too." 

Marilyn felt his jeans getting a little tighter, which that girl managed to not do, even when he was kissing her he didn't feel anything. He just wanted to not think about Johnny. He hadn't planned on leaving with her, he wouldn't use her like that, but for the moment he just wanted to let go. He figured Johnny was doing the same thing and that's why he hadn't heard from him. But now, with Charlie pressed up against him, the warmth of his body, his muscular arm around his neck, his masculine cologne, all of it had his senses raring to go. He wasn't thinking about Johnny, the band, that girl, the music, nothing. He was only thinking about the man pressed against him and how he needed to get out this club before something else happened and he was all over the internet. "Charlie, do you want to take this out of here?" 

"Please?" Charlie replied. They continued moving to the beat of the music, Marilyn letting his hands discreetly wonder over parts of Charlie's body, feeling his muscles, that even unflexed felt strong under his fingertips. The song finally finished and Marilyn peeled himself out of Charlie's grip, turning him to look at him. Marilyn brought his lips down to Charlie's ear, letting his lips graze across the delicate skin of his neck before finally speaking.

"Alright, let me close my tab, you get us a cab. I'll text the others."


	10. Just Friends

The whole cab ride to the hotel was silent. Marilyn and Charlie hardly even looked at each other. They pulled up to the hotel and got out, strolling into the hotel casually, they nodded at the receptionist and made their way to the elevator. It was the longest ride ever, the floors seemed to go by slower and slower the closer to their floor they got. After what felt like an hour, but was only a few minutes, they reached the 15th floor. There were only 4 rooms up here and the band occupied them all. Marilyn swiped his key card, and opened the door. Charlie followed close behind him, entering the room quietly.

He was nervous, he wasn't sure what was going to happen if anything, everything was spinning, he wanted to touch him, but he was nervous. He opened his mouth to say something but before he could Marilyn's lips were on his and his body was slamming the door shut behind them. Charlie melted into the kiss, kissing him back with more passion. 

"You've been teasing me for a while." Marilyn breathed into Charlie's ear.

"Not teasing, testing the water." Charlie answered.

"Is that what we're calling it now?"

"I am."

Marilyn peppered kisses over his neck, pulling his shirt over his head. He let his hands wonder over Charlie's well defined torso.  Marilyn had never been a very muscular man, not had he ever been attracted to anyone that was. Something about Charlie changed his mind. His hard body felt good to his hands, he smelled like heaven. Marilyn certainly never would have thought he and Charlie would be doing what they were doing. 

"I always assumed you were straight." 

Charlie chuckled. "A man can be manly and not be straight. I'm into both. I always wondered if you were top or bottom." Charlie smirked, letting it be known he never for a minute believed Marilyn was anything other than at least bisexual.

"Depends in the situation. You?" 

"Depends as well." 

Marilyn wanted to feel his body against his, his warmth, his cock, his lips, he wanted to feel him all over him, all of him. He softened his kisses, and placed his hands around Charlies waist. 

Charlie ran his hands up Marilyn's back, letting his nails scratch through the material of his shirt, Marilyn gasped out in approval, as Charlie's lips found that spot he loved right above his collar bone. Marilyn arched his neck wanting more. Charlie nipped at his neck, and slipped his hands into Marilyn's. Breaking contact he pulled him over to Marilyn's big hotel bed, shoving him down into the bed, Charlie pointed a finger at him. "Stay." He said, walking a few steps away. Marilyn scooted up into the bed, resting his weight on his elbows, watching every move Charlie made.

Charlie pressed play on his phones music player and sat it on the table. A rock song started to blare from the phone and he started stripping. Since his shirt was already gone, he just teased for a bit before pulling the belt out of his jeans. Marilyn cocked his head smirking at him. Charlie shimmied our of his jeans leaving his tiny shorts underwear on. He claimed onto the foot of the bed, spreading Marilyn's legs, as he climbed between them and then sat up on his heels. He let his hands slip under his shirt and raised it over his head. His finger tips quickly finding their way back to his skin, tracing every exposed part of him. 

Marilyn pulled Charlie down onto him, kissing him hard. Their bodies moved together, kissing and grinding. Charlie kissed down his neck, working his way down his chest. Marilyn sighed enjoying the feeling, he let his hands explore Charlie's muscular frame. He was so different than anyone else he'd ever been with. Charlie's lips pressed kisses at the band of Marilyn's jeans, fingers work the zipper open, freeing his length that was already hard. Marilyn groaned at the initial feeling of air against him, Charlie smirked. "I thought maybe you went commando." 

"How else would I wear pants this tight!?" Marilyn chuckled. 

Charlie slipped his jeans off and found his way back on top of him. Marilyn thumbed the band of his shorts hooking his fingers in he tugged them off of Charlie's body. Again they found themselves tangled into a sweaty heap their sexes running together as they gyrated against one another. Moans and gasps escaping each of them. 

"Top or bottom?" Charlie huffed into Marilyn's ear. 

"Which do you want?" 

"Where's the lube?"

"Side drawer."

Charlie reached over grabbing the lube. He glazed his fingers in it. Returning himself to Marilyn's body, he slipped the hand between them, finding his opening and stroking his fingers over it. Marilyn's breath hitched at the sensation, he pressed himself against the fingers. Charlie teased him for a brief bit, before pushing his finger inside. Marilyn let his head fall back and his mouth hung open in pleasure as that finger thrust in and out of him, suddenly he was asking for more. Charlie complied working him open, he searched for that spot he knew would have him shaking. 

"AAAAAAH, Gah!"  Marilyn moaned loudly and incoherently. 

"Found it." Charlie teased, stroking it a few more times. "Ready?"

"Yes, fuck me already!"

Charlie lined himself up and pushed himself into his tight heat. He waited a second for Marilyn to signal that it was okay to move, and he began thrusting into him at a slow but pleasant pace. Marilyn moved his body in rhythm Charlie's, his cock aching to be touched. Charlie sat back on his heels lifting Marilyn's hips he thrust into him a little harder and a little faster, causing Marilyn to writhe beneath him, turning his head from side to side as screams of pleasure came from his lips. His cock twitched against his body, as he was beginning to move his hands to touch himself, Charlie beat him to it, gripping him firmly.

Marilyn moaned softly, voice getting raspy, his mouth was dry from breathing so heavily. Charlie increased his paced, "mmmm gonna cum soon." 

Marilyn didn't respond, his body stiffened, he dug his fingers into Charlie's thighs, his core trembling, as he spilled over Charlie's hand and onto his body, bucking his hips as his orgasm took full hold. His muscles were clenching tightly around Charlie, bringing him to an intense finish. He collapsed breathing heavily against Marilyn's neck. Marilyn awkwardly patted his back, Charlie picked his head up, looked at him, flopped it back down with a grunt. "Just let me breathe. I'll move." 

Marilyn laughed but lay still, shaking his head trying not to fall asleep. After a minute or two, Charlie rolled off of him, holding the condom in place trying not to spill the contents. 

Marilyn laughed harder, getting a glare from Charlie.  
"What?" He snapped.

"Nothing bad, just, I haven't used condoms in forever, and now the room smells like teenage sex." 

"Yeah it kinda does." Charlie chuckled. He sat up on the side of the bed, grabbing his pants as slipping them on. "Well, um. We good?"

"Yeah loser. We're good." Marilyn stood up redressing himself as well. 

"Better get back to my room before the guys get back and wonder what's up." 

"Yeah,  see you tomorrow!" Marilyn said happily. 

Marilyn went back into his room, and started himself a shower. Soon as the water hit him he was griped with guilt and regret. Charlie seemed fine with this being a hook up, he didn't appear to have any expectations. He felt like he'd just cheated on Johnny. "I mean we're not dating, he hasn't called in almost a week. Should I feel bad? Do I tell him?" He asked himself. 

Marilyn finished his shower and tried to get some sleep. Instead he laid in bed and stared at the ceiling thinking of everything right and wrong about this situation. Would Johnny even care? How would he feel if Johnny didn't care? There were so many things he didn't know the answers too. He finally drifted off to sleep.

The next afternoon everyone was getting ready for the day, they were leaving Berlin and going to Russia. They had a show tonight in Berlin before they left, so they had to pack everything and be ready to fly after the show.

Load in went well, and the stage was set. Marilyn made his way through sound check as quickly as he could, retreating to his dressing room. A soft knock came at the door. "Hmmm Yeah?" Marilyn called out. 

"Can I come in?" Charlie spoke uneasily. 

"Yeah, come on."

Charlie came into the room, smiling at Marilyn, who was laid out on the couch playing on his phone. He sauntered over to him and crawled on his body. Marilyn didn't move, didn't acknowledge him.

Charlie yanked the phone out of his hand and leaned down. Placing a soft kiss on his lips, Marilyn hummed against him. "I had fun last night. I hope you did too." Charlie spoke up against his lips. He laced his fingers into Marilyn's. He sat up on and swayed their hands around, smiling at him. 

"I did. I enjoy spending time with you." Marilyn told him, unable to fight his grin. 

"I understand if last night was meant to be a one time thing. I'm okay with that. I don't want our friendship to change. I want you to know, I like you a lot."

"I kinda figured that." Marilyn chuckled. "I like you. You're a good friend. I don't want to let you down or disappoint you. Everyone I get close too, I break. I'm not in a..." Marilyn was cut off by Charlie's lips on his. He returned the kiss, until he felt the twinge in his gut again. 

"I'm not afraid of being broken. I'm not going to break you. I don't expect anything out of this. Just a little fun, see what happens?" 

Marilyn pushed Charlie back gently, kissing him again. He shifted, so he was sitting up, Charlie still in his lap. "Charlie, I really like you. I'm in a complicated place right now. I need to know where I stand." 

"You're seeing someone?" Charlie looked sadly away.

"Kind of, I'm not sure, I don't know what we are, or where we're going. I just know that I felt guilty about last night. I feel like I've wronged both of you. I'm sorry for that." Marilyn pleaded with him. He hated himself for what he had done. He didn't want to lose either friend. He loved Johnny, he knew now he needed to be straightforward with him. 

"You haven't wrong anyone if you're not explicitly seeing this person. You have nothing to feel bad about." Charlie removed himself from his lap and sat beside him. "Go do a killer show, I'll be here when you get back. If you just want to be friends, I'll just be friends, if you someone to have a good time with I can do that too. If you want someone to fall in love with and know where you stand. Let me know. When you're ready."Charlie kissed him passionately, deeply, he let his lips linger for a moment more. He broke the kiss, cupping his cheeks he kept his face close to his. "You've done nothing wrong." He whispered, before standing and letting himself out. 

Marilyn threw himself back into the couch again groaning in frustration. He sent Johnny a text. "Hey man, hope you're well. Haven't heard from you in a while. Just thought about you. About to go on stage. Hope to see you soon." He sat his phone down and started getting ready for the show.


	11. Understood

Once the show was over a sweaty Marilyn made his way to his room. He ducked into the room and closed the door behind him, panting. He liked his bandmates he was just worn out, physically and emotionally. He threw himself into his music tonight feeling every emotion they were meant to invoke. He slid himself down the door and tucked his head into his knees, he began to sob quietly.  

The couch in the room creaked letting him know he was not alone, he popped his head up to see who was there. He saw a concerned half dressed Charlie looking at him, but not moving. He simply motioned for the other man to come join him. Marilyn gathered himself and stood, he slowly made his way over to where Charlie sat. 

"I'm fine. Sometimes this just happens after an intense show."

Charlie nodded. He didn't speak, he just pulled Marilyn's head into his chest, and let him rest there. He cooed and soothed him, letting him know it was okay. He didn't know what was going on with Marilyn but he knew it was intense. This tender moment didn't last long before a knock at the door forced a stoic expression on to Marilyn's face where tears had just been, and pulled Charlie out of his caretaker role. 

"Marilyn? It's me. You alright? Can I come in?" Tyler spoke softly with understanding in his voice. He'd been down this road with Marilyn before, right now he just wanted him to not self harm, be it with a blade, drugs or alcohol. Marilyn trusted him, Tyler needed to be there for him.

Charlie untangled himself from Marilyn's body, walking over to meet Tyler closing the door behind him as he spoke to him in a hushed tone. Marilyn lay on the couch listening as best he could, he didn't mean to be this way, he couldn't help it. He didn't want the band to worry. In fact it surprised him a little. He could hardly remember a time when his bandmates felt like friends, but these guys seemed genuine. 

"Yeah, I was waiting in his dressing room like I have after most shows, yet he seemed surprised when he saw me. He was crying when he got in here."

"Sometimes he puts too much of himself into it. He's going to be exhausted. Why don't you go on with the guys, I'll keep Marilyn company." Tyler stated making it sound less like a request. Charlie nodded in response patting his shoulder, then pulling his T-shirt over his head. 

Tyler quietly entered the room, and plopped down beside him on the couch. He'd seen this before, usually he knew the reason, this time he wasn't sure. He didn't ask, he just sat quietly, watching Marilyn's staggering breathes and silent tears roll down his cheeks as he came down from the intense adrenaline from tonight's show. An hour passed in this silence until Marilyn finally spoke. "Good show huh?"

Tyler snickered in response then answered. "Good show."

"Thanks for sitting with me. You're like one of the only people who get me. Instead of nagging me you know? I mean I get that people care and shit but sometimes you just gotta process what's there. No reason for it, it just happens." 

"Yeah, I get it. I mean I know we haven't been friends long, like some of your other buddies but I consider you a close friend. We're a lot alike while being completely different. We mesh well."

"We mesh." 

"We do." Tyler giggled "there's not really a good euphemism or pun for that is there?"

"Nope." Marilyn drug put the word in his deep rolling voice, softly shaking his head no. "I'm king of the pun, word twisting and such. I'd know if there was one."

"You ready to load up?"

"Yeah let me grab my shit. Meet you at the bus?"

"I'll wait for you. Need some help?" Tyler leaned against a wall, crossing his arms over his chest. Marilyn glanced at him with a squinty side eye, pursing his lips unamused.

"Sure, I'll clear the make up table, you can cram anything else into this bag. I'll sort it on the bus.  
Tyler wasn't leaving him alone, he was genuinely worried about what may have triggered this emotional release. He knew that Marilyn knew why he offered to help. He didn't argue, he knew by now it was pointless. He did actually appreciate that he cared. It's been a long time since he had band members that gave a fuck about each other, he kinda liked it.

Once they were on the bus it was business as usual. Everyone was doing their own thing, most everyone was in the main part of the bus watching a movie. Marilyn made himself comfortable, a smirk making its way across his face as he thought about Charlie had said. Everyone was chatting more than watching the movie, arguing over who they thought the actual bad guy was. 

"I'm making popcorn, anyone want some?" Gil called out, popping open another beer. 

Everyone raised their hands nodding, still debating about the movie. Gil shook his head at them walking over to the kitchenette. 

"Will you bring me a beer when you come back?" Paul asked. Gil nodded agreeing. 

"Oy, me to?" Charlie requested. 

"What do I look like here? I'm not the bar keep or the maid." Gil protested with a chuckle. Paul stood and offered to help. "Tyler, Marilyn? Your guys want a beer while I'm up? 

Tyler shook his head no, Marilyn had a devious look on his face. "No thanks Paul." Paul nodded and turned to meet Gil. Marilyn spoke loud enough for everyone to hear. "Paul?"

"Yeah?" 

"I think you should ask me properly." 

Paul looked confused for a moment and then it hit him. He remembered their drunken conversation, and looking at Marilyn's face he could tell he meant it. Everyone on the bus was silent, waiting for him, to see if he would. 

Paul took a deep breath sighing, he crossed his arms over his chest. "Daddy. Would you like anything!" He turn every shade of red before fleeing.

"No thank you sweetheart." Marilyn cooed  
The men on the bus erupted in laughter including Marilyn. 

Once the pop corn finished he dumped the bags into some bowls and took them over the couch. He grabbed a few beers and passed them out. "Anyone want to play cards?" Tyler suggested. Everyone agreed, they decided on poker with chips not money. Marilyn sat next to Charlie and Tyler, Paul and Gil sat on the other side in the chairs. Throughout the game, Charlie would move subtly and let his leg bump Marilyn's, or he'd reach for popcorn and let his hand brush against his. Marilyn played along reciprocating the touches. He felt sort of like a teenager flirting with his crush. It was exciting no doubt, but he couldn't shake the guilt that bubbled inside of him. After a short while they all tired of cards and tricks led out of the main cabin and into bunks. 

They'd been riding for hours and finally made it to the next city they'd be staying over in. Everyone was exhausted and dragged off the bus. It was 4AM. They would sleep some more and then do the show and leave again. Their tour manager checked them all into their rooms and passed out keys quickly, as the band started to their rooms as quickly as their exhausted bodies would take them. 

Once inside Marilyn flopped onto the bed, thinking to himself showers, unpacking, etc. could all wait until morning, he hadn't heard the soft knocks on his door as he began to doze. Charlie sleepily walked back down the hall to his own room, and soon fell asleep as well. Marilyn slept thrown across the bed for several hours before rousing enough to get undressed. He walked into the bathroom and threw everything except his underwear onto the floor, and then sank back into the bed. His backpack was sitting next to the bed where he'd dropped it, he fished his hand inside of it for his charger and hooked up his phone. It'd been dead for hours, he figured he'd just turn it on when he got up, the manager always sets up wake up calls anyway.


	12. Uh-oh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is Johnny going to be upset or okay with this?

9:45 a.m the phone in the room rang over and over until Marilyn rolled over and groaned into the receiver. The overly cheery voice on the other end confirmed that this was the wake up call, Marilyn didn't even listen to her speech, he just mumbled a quick "thank you" and hung up the phone. He flopped over in the bed and groaned not wanting to get up. A few minutes later his bladder forced him from the bed and into the bathroom.

Marilyn turned on his phone once he returned to his room. He had a few texts from the crew/band, one from his cousin back home, and his manager. The little red icon for new calls was displayed on his home screen so he clicked it. Missed call: Johneth.   
His heart skipped a beat as he looked over the name a few times making sure it said what he wanted it to say. He hit redial not even sure what he was going to say. A few rings went by and Marilyn started to hang up when he heard the line connect on the other side. 

"Hey sweetass." Johnny spoke voice happily laced with sarcasm. 

"Hey, lover boy." Marilyn teased back. 

"How are you?, I'm so sorry I've been unable to talk to you. I want to come see you! We've been filming on location and my phone hasn't worked and we have these hotel phones but I was worried you would not answer. Gosh, it's so good to hear your voice. I've really missed you man." Johnny rambled quickly.

"Yeah, it's been 3 weeks almost. I thought maybe you'd ran off with some co-staring vixen." Marilyn laughed as if he were joking but he was choking back tears. 

"How have things been? Shows going good? I watched a few snippets this morning after I called you. Looks like you're really having fun."

"Yeah shows have been great. Crowds have been really good. Do you think we will meet up any? We have a few shows left." 

"I hope so. We wrapped for partial last night our time. So. Wait, what time is it there? Where are you? I'd really love to see you."

"It's almost 10 a.m here, I'm in Prague. Show tonight and then a few shows in cities close to here. I'd like to see you. I was really bummed not hearing from you for so long." Marilyn had a sadness to his voice but still cheerful.

"You're having fun though? What are you up too now?"

"Yeah I've been having a good time. Sitting in my hotel room about to get ready to go I guess. You?"

"Sitting in a hotel room, waiting for these folks to let me know when my flight is. You by yourself?" Johnny asked the question casually but with a noticeable trace of lust lining his flirty tone.

"Yeah, for now. I have to head down in about an hour. Why?" Marilyn's voice had seduction flooding over his typical tone.

"Well because there's this amazingly beautiful, sexy man I want to see and cuddle or at least talk too, but our jobs keep us far apart from one another often and so he's not here with me right now." Marilyn grinned with eyes wide urging him to continue as he spoke, despite the fact Johnny couldn't see him. 

"I see how that could be a problem. So what are you going to do?" Marilyn asked pretending he really didn't know where this was going. 

"Well. Im not sure. Talk to my best friend I guess." 

"Are you serious! Such a tease Johnny."

"You don't even know what tease is sweet... *clears throat* dude." 

"Oh! Johnny!" Marilyn exclaimed excitedly pausing for a response. "I just got out of the shower... I'm naked... can't seem to find my towel, so I'm dripping wet." Marilyn spoke in a breathy feminine voice. 

Johnny breathed heavily into the phone before clearing his throat. "Oh yeah? Need me to dry you off?" 

"I could use some help."

"Mmm I wish I were there I'd help you out."

"How would you help me?"

"Well first I'd wrap my arms around your waist and pull your wet body close to mine, I'd let my lips travel up your neck, taking the water droplets with me." Marilyn made a soft humming sound into the phone, encouraging Johnny to continue with a smile.  
"I'd then lay you down on the bed, laying myself on top of you, my clothes soaking up what's left of the water." 

"Mmmhmm..." Marilyn urged him on. 

"Go lay down on your bed. I'm laying on mine."

Marilyn complied laying his now damp body on the bed. "Ok. Laying down. Now what?"

"Close your eyes. My hands are rubbing over your chest, I'm sitting on top of you. Where were we... oh yeah my clothes. I'm slowly slipping out of my now damp shirt, tossing it off the bed. Marilyn made soft encouraging noises as Johnny spoke. He turned speaker on his phone and laid it on the pillow. Letting his hands then trail over his body like Johnny described. "I'm leaning over you, our bare chests touching, my hands trailing up your sides. I want to kiss your lips so much." Johnny kept going, getting pretty turned on, missing his lover. He let his hands do what he felt Marilyn's would be doing in response.

"Mmmm I wanna feel your perfect tan skin under my touch as my hands rub over you. I wish I could see those jeans sliding off your body." Marilyn replied seductively. At that, he heard what sounded like a belt buckle rattling and a zipper being tugged down forcefully. His cock sprung to life, his eyes squeezed shut letting his imagination create pictures in his mind.

"Takin em off" Johnny breathed out. "Sliding myself between your thighs, finger tips lightly tracing over them. Are you hard?"

"Mmmhmmm yea. I want you so bad." Marilyn's hands were rubbing and scratching all over his body. Sounds were escaping him that only came out during sex, he'd never masturbated this seriously before. He needed touch, his cock throbbed for attention, his hole tensed at the emptiness. Marilyn thought to himself, he'd only fingered himself once before, in the shower, he could do it now, but he really wished he'd had a toy, something to fill him like Johnny would. 

"What do you want babe? I want to feel you, all of you. Your hard cock pulsing under my weight as I fill your tightness with mine. Will you finger your self? Can you? I don't know if you've ever done that." Johnny started ramble. Still letting his hands tease his body, pinching his nipples now and then just like his lover would do playfully. 

"Yeah I've done it once. We need to get a toy for stuff like this." 

"Don't you have one you throw around on stage!" Johnny chuckled, but in the heat of the moment he was serious.

"I am not fucking my self with that! It's filthy. Stop joking, I've got this scene in my head and I don't want to lose it. Get back to you being inside of me!"

"Alright alright. Suck on my fingers, get them wet for me." Marilyn complied sucking on three of his fingers a good bit, when he felt like they were decent he reached over and lubed them up just to be safe.   
"Tease yourself for me. Tell me what you're doing."

Marilyn let out a soft whine as he rubbed his hole with one finger adding a littler pressure each time. He'd moan out and tell Johnny how good it felt to feel his fingers rubbing his opening. Just as he'd do during sex he started pushing back against his fingers, whining louder wanting to push inside. 

"You're so fucking sexy. Open yourself up for me. My cock is so ready to be buried deep inside of you." 

Marilyn pushed his finger in wiggling it around adjusting to the feeling. "Ahhhaaah, that feels so good."He started thrusting his finger in and out working himself open. "I want more, please Johnny."  He moaned.

"Gaaah your voice is killing me. My cock is ready for you, I'm all lubed up. You ready babe, my lips want to suck on your neck as I push myself into you."

Marilyn squeaked as he pushed his other two fingers into himself imagining it was Johnny. He rocked his body against his hand breathing hard. When Johnny heard his breath break and the squeak come out he knew what Marilyn had done, he wrapped his own hand and started to pump slow. 

"My hard cock is moving slowly inside of you, making your body speak for you asking for more of me." Johnny's own breath faltered as his pumped his cock in his fist. "You're so tight, feels so good."

"You feel good inside of me. Fuck me Johnny, fuck me hard."

"Okay. Anything you want." Johnny increased his pace, Marilyn could faintly hear the sound of friction through the phone. He let his fingers find that spot inside of him that made him come undone, letting out a breathy squeal. Johnny moaned long and low knowing what had happened.

"You like it when I touch you there?" Johnny chuckled radiating a confidence Marilyn could feel. 

"Guuuung Yes!" Marilyn cried out loudly. "Don't stop, please. More!" He was speaking incoherently and in broken sentences. 

"Fuck... you feel so good." Johnny began pumping himself harder and faster. "Your cock is so hard against me. You ready to cum?" 

"Yes, I'm so close!" 

"I want to feel you cum." 

Marilyn gripped himself and matched the pace of his other hand, listening only to the sounds of his lover breathing heavily and moaning on the other end of the phone. Johnny did the same. Both their eyes shut tightly, breathing and moaning, screaming each other's name as they fell over the edge together.

Marilyn removed his fingers and rolled onto his back catching his breath, listening to Johnny do the same.   
"I'm going to wash my hands, be right back."

"K. Me too." Johnny replied.

Marilyn washed up quickly and came back to the bed picking up the phone. "I miss you."

"I miss you too. We just had phone sex!" Johnny chuckled. 

"Yeah. That was fun. Sadly I've got to get ready to go before the manager comes banging on the door. I've got about 30 minutes to be at the car. Will you call me later? We can plan. Something?"

"Yep! I'll call you this evening. Knock em out at the show tonight."

Marilyn rushed down to the car, he and Tyler were doing a series of interviews. He was in an especially good mood, giddy and fidgety. Tyler took notice "what's up with you?" 

"Nothing, just feel better today."

"Are you using?" 

Marilyn scoffed. "No asshat." He scowled but then smiled. 

"Well good, but whatever it is, looks good on you." Tyler gave him a friendly light punch on the shoulder. 

They completed the interviews and met up for late lunch with the other guys. As soon as Marilyn saw Charlie's face he was hit in the gut with guilt. Charlie was leaving the tour today and a part of him was bummed to his friend go, but relieved that whatever this was between them would go with him and stop. 

He tried to rationalize that he hadn't cheated, he was a single man, therefore it was all okay. I've got to talk to someone. He thought to himself. After lunch he let the guys know he'd meet back up, soon, he needed to make a call before it got to late in the States.  
He walked back to the hotel and went up to his room. He called the one person he knew he could tell anything, or ask anything and he wouldn't be judged. They'd tell him the truth even if it hurt. 

*3 rings* line connects* 

"Hello." 

"Hey dad, what are you up too?"

"Hey, son. Just sat down for breakfast."

"Oh, what time is it?" 

"6:43. Driving into Columbus today to pick up some things for my sister. You know she has that store down there, she wanted some help moving some stuff out for redecorating or something like that. But what's up with you? I know something is up, I can tell."

"Yeah. I need an opinion. I don't know what to do or not do."

"Is she pregnant? Or is some kid claiming your his dad?" 

"What!? Nooo. Not like that."

"Well son, are they claiming im their dad?"

"Dad... what the fuck?"

"A mans gotta live son. Don't worry you're an only child far as I can tell. You're my pride and joy."

"You're being an ass."

"Where do you think you get it from kid? I taught you everything you know, whether you knew it or not. But what's on your mind son, I'll be serious. Do I need to come out there?"

"You make a valid point. You don't need to come out here. I just have... well im confused and I'm not sure if... I don't..."

"Son we've talked about this. Jizzing in your sleep is a normal part of development. It's about time you hit puberty, I'd been wondering if your balls were ever gonna drop."

"Ha-ha-ha dad. This is not about that, I haven't had wet dreams since like I don't know, fuck, since before we moved to Florida probably. Anyway, I may have slept with someone I shouldn't have. Except there's not really a reason I shouldn't have, because I'm single, but I've been seeing someone seeing where it could go. I feel guilty, but when I'm with each of them separately I feel similarly about them. My heart gets all fluttery and I feel excited. One of them, before I left for tour I was ready to approach a relationship or seeing where they stand on us, but then I got out here and didn't talk to them for a few weeks and I slept with this person. It's like they both offer different things that I need and want. Do I tell the person back home? Do I tell this person? I don't know what to do." 

"Well son, I don't know these people or the relationships you have with them, but if you've been dating the one, it's the right thing to do to let them know you've slept with someone else. If you aren't exclusive they shouldn't get upset, your respect their right to know their risk potential. She may want you to get tested or something. Prior to this other person you were wanting a relationship with the prior, what does this other person provide that the prior isn't?"

"Nothing really. I slept with the latter because I was upset and they were there for me and I flirted back, we got drunk and hooked up. But I liked the flirting and how I felt until I felt guilty."

"Well boy, the fact that you felt guilty tells you all you need to know about the first. You're more than courting them son, I know you, you're smitten. Why are you hesitant on a relationship with her? Where'd this other girl come from?"

"I'm friends with them. I already knew the other, which is where the comfort comes from, but I never thought of them as more than s friend, until we started flirting with each other out here. I don't want to loose a friend either." 

"Do they seem like they want more?" 

"No, well they brought it up as an open question. Being friends, fuck buddies or more. I'm hoping just friends will work. A part of me wishes I hadn't done it, but I also wouldn't mind doing it again, with no strings. I don't know if the prior would go for that. If I did go for a relationship with the first I'm worried they won't trust me with the other. I wouldn't if it were reversed."

"Well son, I think you should always be honest you know that. If they are a good friend maybe they will be okay. Give them all time to process. They may need some space to think about it. But I think you like the first. Have you been seeing them a while?"

"Yeah, sorta. We've been going on little dates here and there for a long time. I've known them for years, but we've always been friendly until the end of last year. We started talking and being more romantic but we've not addressed what we are if anything. I wanted to when I got home. I'd like to be their significant other."

"You've got your answer kid. Tell her what's up. Use it to your advantage though. Being out there and doing what you've done, I think it's helped you solidify how you feel about her."

"Dad, um. I don't know how to... I wish you were here so I weren't talking to you on the phone. There's one other complication."

"What son? Is she married or not yet 18? Or what is she older than you? Is she at least legal? I don't want to baby sit anymore of your girlfriends now."

"You're hilarious!"Marilyn said with deliberate sarcasm." Over 18, five years older than me, divorced with two kids. So you'd still have to babysit!"

"Well that's different, I've always wanted grandkids to fuck up you know. But seriously son, what's the complication?"

"We've been friends a long time, I don't want to ruin our friendship if this doesn't work. Also it was 100% unplanned. But I can't help how I feel inside. Even if I tried not too and that's what's I feel. I've been fighting with myself and I'm not sure they'd want to be exclusive or public"

"Does public matter or are you worried about her not wanting to be with you in public? Son you've been down this road, if she doesn't like you for you just stick with being her friend. You're a good man, you know your flaws, don't let them create new ones for you." 

"Not like that Dad. And Dita actually only wanted me to change things that looking back, wouldn't have been so bad for me to change. I did do a lot more unsavory things out of limelight. She wanted me to be healthy, I can't fault her for that, but yes creatively she did want me to focus more on her career. This person isn't like that, nor do they want me to be 21 or something. They like me for me. The problem is, dad, he's a man."

Silence

Minutes later

"Dad, say something, please. Are you mad?"

"Is the other person also a man?"

"Yes."

"Do you still like women or have you always liked boys? That boy with the dresses, is it him? I always thought something was up with the two of you."

"Yes I like women. Like I said I didn't plan this or see it coming. But it doesn't feel like a phase, or something to fill in while I'm single. And no it isn't the boy with the dresses" he emphasized his annoyance at his description of Twiggy. "It's Johnny. I think he feels the same way I do. I'm not sure. But I hooked up with Charlie just to test myself and this whole gay thing. I decided to go with it when he hit on me. I didn't hate it. Except for the guilt. I hate that. I feel like I cheated on Johnny. But we aren't dating, we've just been out a few times in an acknowledged date, we slept together a few times, but I don't know if for him it's passing time or not. Dad, I already know I love him. I've loved him as a friend for years, now I love him romantically. I'm wild enough that when I talk about him in interviews all the time no one blinks an eye even when I'm serious about stuff I say about us, but if he were to do that, or if we were to present as a couple I'm not sure what would happen. I don't want to damage his career with my negative cloud of judgments, though it's getting better, but I don't know if he'd go public. I'm at a point now that who ever I'm in love with I just want to be able to love them freely."

"You deserve that. I'm not upset with you for loving a man, but I will be upset with you if you let them make you less than you are. Johnny is a good man, he'd be a good support for you, but you won't know how he feels unless you talk to him. This other boy, I say remain friends with him if that's an option but I'd let the rest go. You need to tell Johnny the truth. I'm sure he wouldn't be upset, this is new-ish to you. I've unfortunately watched you fit a big one in that mouth of yours. Son, that cannot be unseen. That boy wears dresses cause pants must be uncomfortable." Hugh laughed at his own joke, hoping he'd made Marilyn feel at least a little better. 

"Yeah your right. I'll tell him. I hope he isn't pissed. I'm just going to force my friendship with Charlie to to go back to normal. I miss him. I'm also worried about what happens if we meet women we like? Do we just dump each other? Guess we will cross that bridge huh."

"You'll be fine son. You know what your mom would say?"

"What Dad?"

"I don't care who you love, they'd better not hurt my baby. Guess since rest her soul she isn't hear to make that threat I'll have to hold up our end of that bargain. I'll expect to be meeting this Johnny as your boyfriend real soon. This should be a fun conversation. Barb would be proud of me ha!"  Hugh was very light hearted and cheerful. 

"Thanks Dad. Ill see what I can do. Well gotta meet up with the guys. Have a show in a few hours. I love you."


	13. One More For the Road

Marilyn hung up with his dad and rested his head on the back of the chair. He didn't know what he was going to do. He grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair and decided to head back down and meet up with everyone. He felt it would be good to see Charlie off.

They all piled into the van and headed to a pub. On the way there everyone chatted and carried on. Marilyn felt the tug in his heart continue to pull. He was saddened by the idea this was really it, his friend was leaving, and they'd be open ended. There was no closure, Charlie had made it clear that he wanted more than a one nighter. Did Marilyn? 

Marilyn sat quietly in the van with his head resting against the window, in the seat behind Charlie. He was an incredible guy, he was beautifully handsome, manly and gruff. Marilyn felt conflicted, he never thought of himself as being gay, or even bi-sexual. He'd never had random relations with men. His only real male sexual encounters were with three guys he knew like the back of his hand, and now Charlie. 

Once they made it to the pub Marilyn hung back lighting a cigarette. He took a long drag, and held it in his lungs. He relished in the burning, it momentarily gave his heart a break and his mind something else to think about. Charlie took notice that Marilyn was several paces behind them. He decided to slow his pace letting Marilyn catch up to him. 

" 'Sup with you?" Charlie had a smug grin a he asked.

"Nothing, just thinking." Marilyn sighed sheepishly blowing a puff of smoke from his lungs. 

"About how much you're going to miss me when I'm gone?" He teased.

"Sorta. More like to organize my brain with where all of this falls."

"Not a hit and run kinda guy are you? That's both a virtue and a curse. Im not either, but I've had to suck it up and accept it more times than once. It comes too easily now. Though, I don't, or I've managed, er.. I don't have the right words I think. I've never slept with someone with the intention of it being a once and done thing, I try to be open to though to whatever happens." 

"Sounds like a lot of work." Marilyn took another drag, not holding it as long this time. "I don't like it, but sometimes it's a necessity evil. I'm a fan of closure and not being left wondering." Marilyn eyes surveyed the area, seeing that the guys had made it inside the restaurant. 

"Your eyes are wondering." Charlie had a pleased smirk as Marilyn's eyes raked over his body quickly and then snapped up to meet Charlie's. A faint blush washing over both of their faces. 

"Yeah well, they're not wondering, my eyes and me know what's under those clothes." Marilyn advanced forward closing the distance between them but remaining casual in case any of the guys decided to see what was taking them so long. 

Charlie raised a brow and smirked. "As do mine babe." He replied coyly. "You uh, want to take me to the airport, just us? Catch up on some stuff?" 

Marilyn let his gaze drop to the ground shyly as he dropped his cigarette and stomped it out.  
"Yeah, okay. Let's go eat." Marilyn said, gently smacking his shoulder ushering him towards the door. The conversation changed as they entered the restaurant and found the guys. 

Everyone was talking and laughing. These guys got along so well, it took Marilyn back to the beginning for a moment. He shook the thoughts of the past out of his head and grabbed a chair next to Tyler, in front of Paul. 

"Finally we can order. What were you doing anyway?" Tyler teased.

"Having a smoke, talking to that bloak." Marilyn retorted with false defense. 

"Well do you know what you want? I started to order for you."

"Oh yeah! Well what would you have gotten?"

Tyler thought on it for a brief second. He could say something smart but he instead decided to be honest. "A plain cheeseburger and fries, coke to drink."

"Look at you man. You know me so well." Marilyn gave him an exaggerated hug squeezing hard. The waitress had approached the table without them noticing, everyone else stared at them. Blushing a little from their childish behavior both men cleared their throats and placed their orders. 

Gil decided it would be a good idea to order pitchers of beer for the table. No one objected. They all filled their cups, toasting to a great tour so far, and the goodbye to Charlie. 

"It's been nice having you around. We need to get together more often when we have time." Gil suggested. 

"Definitely. This has been an experience I am more than honored to have gotten. I've enjoyed all of your company." Charlie spoke fondly. 

The waitress finally returned with their orders and table talk quieted down. 

"Marilyn, will you hand me the ketchup? I don't want to reach over everything." Paul asked shyly. 

Marilyn picked up the ketchup and eyed it for a second. Then he turned his gaze back to Paul. "How do you ask for things?" Marilyn asked like a mother would, causing Paul to let out an exasperated huff.   
"Will you please hand me the ketchup?" Paul asked confused. 

Marilyn raised a brow at him while the the rest of the table snickered. Paul rolled his eyes and sighed. "Fine. Daddy, will you please hand me the ketchup? Or would you prefer to put it on the plate for me?" He asked being a smart ass. 

"Don't be an ass, I'd hate to have to whip your ass in front of everyone." Marilyn's voice dripping with sarcasm as he handed the ketchup to Paul. The table erupted into laughter, Gil playfully shoving Paul's shoulder. 

"You're seriously not going to let this go are you?" Gil asked amused. 

"No! It's way too much fun." Marilyn laughed in response. 

Time pressed on till finally the check came and the men all trickled out of the restaurant to the van. 

"So what do you want to do till we have to head to the airport? We have about 4 hrs." Tyler asked everyone. There consensus was to go back to the hotel. Charlie needed to get all of his things and everyone wanted to nap before the show. 

Marilyn went into his room and breathed out in relief. He stripped himself down and laid on the bed. Shit, what the fuck am I doing? I need to find a girl and fuck her. Or fall in love with her? Shit, it's times like this I miss my wife, well, ex-wife. She would listen to all this crap in my head and help me sort it. Hell, last I heard she was single. I should call her. Ha! That's a fucking stupid idea, she wouldn't give water right now if I were in the desert. I'm sure she wouldnt want to talk to me, or listen to me complaining and rambling on about my guy troubles. I'm not gay, I'm not even attracted to guys, I've never just been like oh that guy or that guy is hot. It's always been with people close to me and for fun. So what the fuck am I doing right now? Why do I care if Johnny knows about Charlie and vise versa. I mean none of us are together, no feelings involved. I've got to focus. Think of anything other than them. I do miss Johnny though. I know his management team knows about us, and they keep him busy for it. I wonder if he misses me as much as I miss him? I wonder if Charlie will miss me when he leaves or if he will just move on. 

Eventually his thoughts became clouded as he drifted off.  2:45 o'clock came way faster than he wanted it too. He didn't understand why, after 20 some odd years he still had to go to load in. He hated it. He threw his hand over and smacked the little clock in the room. He groaned as he started to debate going back to sleep, he knew that would lose. If he intended on taking Charlie to the airport he had to get moving. 

He threw his clothes back on and met Charlie at his room to help him down to the car. The ride itself wouldn't take long, less than an hour seeing as how their hotel and venue were both close to the airport. They loaded everything into the car and headed towards the airport. 

"So did your eyes at least like what they saw?! Charlie asked, getting into the drivers seat. 

Marilyn cleared his throat before answered. "I guess you could say that." Marilyn clicked his seat belt on.   
A few minutes into the drive, Charlie was trying to get the courage to put his hand on his lap or something, anything to try to have him respond. He wanted out of the friend zone. Marilyn had his own agenda. He wanted to know what he was feeling and why. 

"So, if you're wondering, I liked it too. What you look like." 

The statement caught Marilyn off guard. He snapped his head around to look at Charlie, with a confused expression on his face. 

"Umm, thanks. I think?"

"Yeah, id like to do that again sometime. With you." Charlie quietly murmured.

Marilyn decided to just do what his body wanted to do, he grabbed Charlie's hand. He felt warm and soft despite his gruffness. Marilyn thought he felt nice, he hoped Charlie thought the same about him. 

"So, back to how you don't enjoy a hit and run. What if it's with a more steady person ?" Marilyn teased.  
Charlie looked over at him, brow cocked, as he laced his fingers into the others, and pulled off the wrong exist.  
Marilyn took notice to where he must going and snickered. "We, Um , checking in?"  He asked, as they merged into the lane heading into what was obviously the popular touristy part of the area. Hotels, restaurants, souvenir shops were everywhere. 

"Only if you want too. Here's to one more?" Charlie asked, lust and hope in his voice.   
Marilyn nodded in response, pulling his phone out and booking a room at the Hilton just off the exit.   
"Who says it has to be the last one?" Marilyn suggested coyly as they pulled into the lot of the Hotel. Handing Charlie his card he started getting what they would need out of the back. Placing the bag over his shoulder he walked into the lobby. Charlie had finished checking in and text him the number so Marilyn could simply walk up hopefully unnoticed. 

He waited to go into the room a few minutes after Charlie. His mind raced as he approached the door. What was he doing? Was it wrong? Why was he doing it? Why is it fun? Was he gay? Was he bi? What would Johnny think? What would the band think? What would his fans think? He breathed in deeply as he put the key card in and turned the handle. 

Once inside he saw a scantily clad in boxers Charlie laying on the bed. The lights were on but dimmed, curtains drawn tightly. Marilyn cocked his head to the side as he took it all in with a smirk. This was not unlike something he would to up romance, granted he'd use a lot candles and other things to woo his girl. 

"Took you long enough to get up here." Coming up onto his knees, Charlie spoke with sultry voice Marilyn hadn't heard him use before.

Marilyn cleared his throat, as he approached the bed, he sat the bag down, and snakes his arms around Charlie's waist. "I, didn't want it to be obvious." He mumbled, as he burried his face into the crook of Charlie's neck, breathing him in.

"It's only obvious to us. Because we know we're guilty as chARGed." Charlie exclaimed the last bit as Marilyn bit into his flesh causing his blood to begin its race to his nether region.   
"Well, then lock me up." Marilyn answered, pulling Charlie's face into a kiss. He tightened his grip around his waist and pushed them down onto the bed.

Marilyn worked his hands over Charlie's tightly toned body. Taking in the feel of his muscles rippling under his hands. Their lips moved together in perfect sync. Charlie let his hands wonder over and memorize the feeling of Marilyn's smooth skin, the way his lean body felt against him, how his big calloused hands grazed over him gently. It was odd to him, he himself was so muscular, and the clear definition of manliness to so many yet this big, lean, toned but not heavily muscled man with stains of eye liner and pinkish lips felt so much more of a man than himself. Their bodies ground together, breathing becoming staggered as Charlie helped Marilyn shed his cloths and rip off what was left of his own.   
Once both men were naked Marilyn actually looked and took in the size of Charlie's length, Charlie's hands found their way to Marilyn's member. Already partially erect, he began to stroke his cock coaxing him harder. Gasps, moans and whimpers came from the writhing bodies. Marilyn grabbed hold of Charlie's hands, causing him to stop stroking his length, as he pinned his hands above his head, he positioned himself where he could get himself between his legs. 

His mouth ravenously nipped and kissed down Charlie's body, keeping his hands in place. Charlie rolled his hips against the body above him, trying to gain some friction on his hardened cock. Marilyn made his way down his body, stopping just above his length as he then began teasing all the flesh around it.   
Charlie whined in response to the teasing, his hands tangled into Marilyn's hair. Marilyn kissed the head, and then took all of him in. He remembered how he felt inside of him, as he began bobbing his head up and down on the cock in his mouth. Soft moans became loud, rough moans as Charlie grew close.

"Marilyn... I'm close, mmmm, Mar!!!" His speech was cut short as his odd bowed and stiffened, hot pleasure shooting from his body and being taken in by his lover. Marilyn grabbed the lube and tore open a condom as he looked down at Charlie's sweaty shaky body. Once the condom was rolled into place he squirted some into his hands, letting his fingers then explore the body beneath him. He didn't have to tease much, Charlie had gotten pretty worked up and Marilyn was able to easily sleep the first finger inside. Charlie pushed down onto it begin for more. 

"Please Marilyn, I'm ready." He breathed out. Marilyn nodded and adjusted himself so he could line up with his opening. Slipping his finger out he thrusted himself into Charlie easily. His tight heat engulfing him, as they both adjusted to the sensation. Charlie's eyes were wide and pleading, Marilyn read the silence and began thrusting into Charlie with a decent speed. He dropped his body down so they were skin to skin, moving with each other. The sound of the headboard against the wall, flesh rubbing together, the smacking sound of their bodies connecting, to moans, screams of passion were the music they were dancing too.   
"You feel so fucking good." Marilyn managed to get out between breaths. He rocked back onto his heels, taking Charlie's lower half with him so he was partly hoisted upwards at an angle, he drove into him harder. Feeling the burning coil tightening inside of him, he aimed for that sweet spot inside of his lover. Charlie's screams of pleasure and desperation filled the room loudly covering up the grunts and pants from the other. He continued to pound into him, faster, hitting that spot over and over, Charlie screaming in broken sentences incoherently begging for him not to stop.   
"Gonna cum!" Marilyn moaned out, still thrusting frantically.  

"I feel so close. I think... I think I'm going t... fuck. Fuck, I'm coming! Charlie sputtered out the words as he came in big bursts, covering his abdomen, and some of his own face. The sight of it all, the clenching of his partner around him brought Marilyn to his end as he came deeply buried inside of his lover, he collapsed panting, on top of a shaking Charlie.

"Wow." Marilyn spoke muffled with his face in Charlie's neck.

Charlie stroked his hair gently, trying to come down from his high. 

"That was intense. I've um. I've never came like that. Just from... you know." Charlie spoke shyly. Marilyn picked his head up, kissing Charlie on the lips he rolled off of him and lay next to him in bed, propping his head up with his elbow. 

"Never?" Marilyn made small circles with his finger tips over the clean parts of Charlie's abdomen. Charlie shook his head from side to side, as he still fought to steady himself. "Never." He huffed our eventually. Marilyn rolled onto his back, pulling Charlie with him. "Come here." He pulled him over, so his arm could snake around him and Charlie could rest his head on his chest. "That is intense then. Proud to have had the honor." Marilyn joked. "But seriously." He planted a kiss on his temple. "If you need to talk about it or anything. You can." 

A faint sniffle caught his attention again. "Charlie?" Marilyn asked, his fingers now running through the mans hair gently. He understood how intense everything must have felt, how he was coming down from an intense high. "It's alright man. That was intense. You're just coming down. I'm here, we're fine. I can hold you or I can leave you alone. Let me know what you need." Marilyn spoke softly trying to help Charlie feel better. He knew he was probably embarrassed that he got teary and emotional after sex. He wanted him to understand that sometimes that's normal. Charlie responded by nodding his head, and wrapping an arm tightly around Marilyn's waist. The two of them drifted off this way.

20 minutes later alarms were ringing from both men's phones jolting them awake. Marilyn realized he'd forgotten to remove the condom that was now cold and gross, he threw it into the trash can by the bed. He kissed Charlie quickly on the forehead. "Quick shower?" He offered a hand. 

10 minutes later they were headed out the door and too the car, hotel keys purposely left on the desk.   
The car ride was mostly normal they sang along like dorks to the radio talked about random other things and they held hands the whole way to the airport. 30 minutes later, they were hugging goodbye and Marilyn met the driver that would shuttle him back to the venue for the show in a few hours. He'd make it back just in time for final sound check and to get ready. 

Marilyn made his way through the crowded backstage area and got ready for sound check, the band was already doing their instruments so he knew he would be next. He sighed, as much as he loved the stage, he hated sound check. He was big bad superstar Marilyn Manson on the stage, in front of hundreds fans, but at sound check, he felt more like shy awkward Brian Warner and he struggled to get through it with out vomiting. He started out by just talking some random bullshit and then he sang a line or two from a few songs on the set list. When he was satisfied with the mic, his ear piece, lights and props, he exited the stage and ran to his dressing room. He couldn't wait to get the show rolling. 

Text from Charlie: knock em out tonight! Can't wait to hangout with you and the crew when you make it back to the states. Thanks for letting me tag along! 

Text from Charlie: I had a blast with you, getting to know you on a different level. I hope we have the chance to continue to see what happens with us. *smiley emojis heart eye emoji." 

Text from Charlie. Trying not to be weird. Have fun!

Marilyn grinned at the messages. He snapped a picture of himself and sent it to Charlie with a text. I'll try to knock em out. I'm glad you tagged along. We're totally weird. I'm okay with that. You've left a lasting impression for sure. Everyone is going to think I'm stoned bc of the stupid grin on my face, won't go away. See you state side! 

He laid his phone down and finished getting ready. He heard the 10 minute count as he sat down on his small couch in the dressing room. His phone dinged.

Text from Johnny: I miss your sweet ass. We need to talk about some stuff when I see you. Nothing bad. Just this ache you've managed to cause in my heart. Hope to see you really soon!

Again Marilyn grinned like an idiot at the text, but he also felt that all too familiar pang of guilt. He typed out a text back. 

Dude, you have no idea how much I've missed you. Talking would be a good idea I think. Sorry about the ache in your heart, hopefully we can repair it, or not, whichever. My heart feels poundy whenever you text me when we're apart. Hope I get to see you soon. 

Text from Johnny: awe. You do like me! *selfie of dorky smile* 

Marilyn chuckled at the message and replied. Asshole. Gotta go, showtime!

Marilyn stepped out of his dressing room on the 5 count. Meeting up with his band, they talked and joked around, getting rid of last minute nerves. 

SHOWTIME!


	14. Adrenaline

The lights were flashing against the darkness of the crowd, music boomed, smoke filled the air and Marilyn rode his adrenaline high as he pranced around the stage bellowing our song after song. He felt alive, he was so engulfed in the performance it was better than any drug high he'd ever taken.   
The lights go down, allowing for a brief set change and new wardrobe. Marilyn is giddy, he feels very much the way he did during his first shows he'd ever done. He takes a large gulp of water, cleans his face up a little and sprints back on the stage as the lights come back up. 

"How's it going mother fuckers!" Marilyn shouts as the crowd cheers.

"There's some very special people outside tonight, expecting some bad shit to go down. Let's give them something to listen too. I said, how's it going, mother fuckers!!!!!!!" He screams louder. The crowd goes insane, screaming deafeningly loud.

"Let me hear a fuck you!"  
The crowd chants back loudly.

Marilyn puts his hand up behind him stopping the band from playing their filler music. 

"Fuck me!? Nah, fuck all of you. I am the GOD of fuck ladies and gentlemen! I am here, to fuck all of you... up! Next motha fuka gonna get my metal! Mother fucker gonna get my metal..."   
Marilyn shouted and screamed the intro of the song with his mouth close to the mic, putting emphasis on the last words of every sentence for good measure. Causing him to sound more like a Baptist preacher than anything but the point of him knowing that was clear in his delivery. 

The show played on by the end of it Marilyn and the band were shaking from adrenaline that they were feeding from one another and from the crowd. They all agreed that this was the best show of the tour so far. Once they made it back stage they all separated into dressing rooms. 

Marilyn staggered into his room now exhausted and crashing as his adrenaline cane down. He flopped himself onto the couch and tried to relax a bit before undressing. He'd no more than sat down when he decided the sweat pouring from his body was disgusting and he stunk too bad to rest. He peeled his clothes off and got into the tiny dressing shower. He sighed as the water hit his body, he used just enough hot water to prevent him from freezing but he took a mostly cool shower. He stood there letting the water fall over him, closing his eyes he reflected on everything trying to organize his brain as the remaining adrenaline left his body. Once his legs felt like literal Jello and the fatigue hit him he felt it better to get out and get ready to go before he collapsed. First no one would believe he was sober and second he didn't want to collapse unconscious and naked around these guys. They'd draw penises on his actual penis given the opportunity. Gil or Daniel would put it on Instagram for sure. Much safer to preserve what little dignity he still had, though he was fairly certain there were fans who knew more about what he looked like naked than any of his partners did. Hell, he thought, there is an online catalog of all of his tattoos. Half the time he couldn't even remember what he had without looking at them. Fans are both impressive and creepy he pondered over that often. 

Finally he was redressed and he sank into the couch. It was the most comfortable couch he'd ever laid on in his life he thought to himself. In reality it was a cheap lumpy plaid couch probably from the 70s and repurposed for backstage. He also thought the floor would be comfortable at this point, he was so exhausted he thought someone might need to carry him. In fact he had never felt this exhausted before. He became a little nervous and text Tyler to come into his room.

A few minutes later Tyler tapped on the door. Marilyn murmured something that sounded like come in. 

"Hey, you alright?" Tyler asked concerned both from the text and the limp ness of Marilyn on the couch.

"Yeah, I'm so tired I think I am dead."

"Brian. Are you okay?" Tyler asked again, growing more concerned by the slur in his words. "Are you using? What did you use?"

"What are you talking about? I am fine. Just exhausted."

"You aren't speaking English Brian. I can barely understand you."

Marilyn didn't even know he was slurring his words, in his head everything sounded normal he was just trying to nap. Tyler approached him, placing his fingers on his wrist. 

"Brian your pulse 120 bpm. How long have you been sitting here?" 

"20 minutes? I don't know. Since the shower?" Again he slurred mostly incoherently not moving at all. 

"Okay buddy. Raise your right arm"

No response.

"Okay, raise your left arm." Tyler remained calm. He didn't want to alarm him. However again there was no physical response. 

"Alright good. I'm going to hold your hand. Tell me which hand I'm holding."

"Are you doing it yet?" Marilyn mumbled, his head rolling back onto the couch.  Tyler had been rubbing his hand since he sat down. He didn't have to hold it to have figured out he didn't feel it. His arms and hands were still warm though so Tyler felt better that he hadn't lost circulation.

"No, I changed my mind. Here, let me help you lie down and I'll bring you some water okay." 

Once Tyler left the room he immediately ran to where the medics are on standby and told them what was happening. The rest of the band murmured and questioned. Tyler simply told them he'd update them when he knew but he was certain everything would be fine. Marilyn was just dehydrated and felt faint. They guys took that answer and finished packing and loading. 

When Tyler returned to the room the medics were preparing the stretcher for transport.  Tyler felt panic creeping up inside of himself.

*EMTs in the room talking amongst themselves in thick Russian accentsSir what's your name? Can you hear me? Sir? any name is fine. I know the answer, I need to know that you do.*  
Marilyn was mumbling incoherently still. 

*sir, do you know what happened? Anything at all?"  
*another medic calls out vitals and alerts the hospital: BP 185/110 temp 39c, pulse/ox 123BPM @98% oxygenation. PT conscious with confusion, unresponsive, pupils response possible paralysis of unknown origin. Healthy adult male. Ox mask please. 

A medic that was less involved with direct patient and was more involved with getting what they needed   
turned to Tyler.  
*Do you know the patient?! Do you know what happened at all, what he was doing, anything?

"No, um, yes I know him, we had all just gotten off stage, he said his adrenaline was insane. He compared it to feeling high. He's sober, um, trying to be. We all went to our dressing room areas to get ready to leave, after a few minutes he sent me a text."  
Tyler pulled out his phone and showed the EMT his message. 

Text from Brian BossMan: hey Mann, could y come keeeee some company? I'm not feeling so great. Sureit'sjustthe adrenaline down $/ I'd feel better if I /weren't alone. ?)7/

"The text was weird but I didn't pay it any attention. I just figured he was just in a hurry and was maybe not paying attention to what he was texting. It's not unlike him to send messages that doesn't make sense. Like I said I'm not sure what happened. I came in and he was slouched over on the couch. He was slurring so bad at first I thought maybe he'd found some stash or something, but he didn't seem to know I couldn't understand him. I asked him to move his arms and he didn't respond physically. I had been rubbing his arm to get his attention, soI told him I was going to hold his hand and for him to tell me which one, he ask if I was going to do it. That's when I laid him down onto his back and came to get you all."

The medic made notes, and nodded. He didn't say anything else, but thank you and turned back to help put him into the stretcher.   
Tyler hated he'd missed whatever happened in there while he'd been talking to the band but he was glad something was being done. He went back up to one of the men, who began telling him to back up and started giving him a speech about respect and privacy. Tyler tried to hide his annoyance at the mans initial greeting and began asking questions.

"What is going on?" 

"We can't say right now please give us space."

"Sir, I'm his friend, band mate. Please give me sort of information."

"Mister I cannot breech patient information. The best thing you can do right now is to sit down out of the way so we can load him for transport."

"It isn't a breech damnit, I came to get you, he would want me to go with him. Can I ride with him? He does not like this sort of stuff. Is he conscious! Did he consent to this?"

The EMT looked flustered trying gather his thoughts. 

"I understand your concern, really I do. We do not know at this time. We have theories. The hospital will run tests and rule out the basics. A male, late forties, otherwise known as healthy. The first thing they are going to do is rule out heart attack, stroke, things of that nature. If I had more information I'd give you something. Given you aren't from here, they will take him to the closest hospital instead of asking. If you know the patient well enough to be useful to the hospital when they have questions you can ride with your friend. Otherwise I have to tell you the name of the hospital and to meet us there."

"Of course I know him. We spend 90% of our time together whether we want too or not. I'll come with you. Out here, I'm the closest thing to family he's got right now. There's no one to call. His mother is deceased and his father is in Ohio. He's an only child."

The EMT nodded, and the other two men finished their exam and loading him up. Tyler grabbed a few things he knew he'd want and ran along with the stretcher holding onto Marilyn's limp hand the whole way.


	15. Hospital

Tyler ran alongside the stretcher with a billion thoughts running through his head. Everything happened so fast it was all a blur, he hadn't even noticed they'd reached the hospital or the intake nurse asking him questions.   
What he did notice was his friend was conscious. He turned from the nurse when he felt his hand moving. He actually hadn't noticed he was still holding his hand, though he was glad he was. No one else would have seen the gesture, a simple movement that let him know his friend was okay. No sooner than he'd felt the gentle movement and shared a stunned smile did it all crumble around him again. Marilyn's body stiffened, arching his back unnaturally off the gurney, his eyes rolled back in his head and he shook all over.   
Again Tyler saw the streaks go by him, the medical personnel whipping around trying to stabilize him. During the ride there he'd been calm. Before they left the venue he was awake, but confused. Tyler didn't know what could cause his friend to react this way. What if he did have a stroke, would he recover? Most definitely not a heart attack, couldn't be. This time Tyler tried to focus on what was happening. The men who brought them in had been replaced by men and women in blue papery gowns hovering around the stretcher, holding limbs, inserting tubes, and then just like that they were gone. Running down the hallway, leaving Tyler there to worry and wonder. The nurse from arrival came back up to him, asking him just as many questions as he had himself, though he answered everything as good as he could. He recounted everything that had happened up until this point, and thought of everything they'd done since leaving America on tour. The nurse patted his arm sympathetically and showed him to a waiting area. He sent a group text to the band, letting them know what was going on and to not come to the hospital tonight. He then figured the only thing left to do was to call his dad. He figured he deserved to know his son was in a hospital in the Czech Republic and he had no clue what was going on. If anything he felt Hugh would make him feel better about it all. 

"Hello?" A sleepy but familiar voice answered.

"Hi, Hugh. Um. It's Tyler."

"Hey, what's going on? Everything alright?"

"Um, no, Yes:... no, not really, thing is, I don't know."

"What's wrong? Is my boy alright?" He asked his voice giving away his panic.

"He has just been admitted to the hospital. I am waiting for someone to tell me something. I will keep you updated as quickly as I find out information."

"Tyler! What happened? Why is he in the hospital? Is he hurt? How long has he been there?!! Why don't they know anything. Does the media know!? They cannot know. He would hate that! Geese the internet would go crazy!"

"Kinda funny isn't it. Just a few years ago the loudest voices besides at a show, were the protesters, all over the media and such. Now the loudest most prevalent ones are the fans. They would be genuinely just as worried as I am right now. He knows that. I'll do my best to keep his secret. He's been checked in under a fake name, the nurse is supposed to tell me what it is so I can ask the next shift and not get turned away. Sir, I don't know what happened, we had a great show, he was excited and doing well. He was proud of himself, he enjoyed it so much and he was sober. He's been weaning down for a long time and he's been clean almost a month. This has been the best show of the tour. As far as feeling and energy goes. We all went to our dressing rooms to shower and he text me and asked me to come to his room to keep him company because he wasn't feeling great m, by the time I got there he was slumped over and talking weird. At first I thought he'd gotten high, but it just kept getting worse so I got the medic. Now I'm here. He wasn't conscious most of the ride to the hospital."

"What?! Do you think the drugs caused this? His sobriety cannot be the cause of this. He will never try again. If they decide it is, you cannot let them tell him that. Unless it's somehow better for him to stay on them at this point. I hate I'm not there with my boy. I hate this. That little fucker, he's always gotta prove a point."

"Prove a point? I don't understand."

"It's a joke. When he was a kid, he was in and out of hospitals for various reasons. I don't know why really. I would pick on him that he just liked to flirt with the nurses. He'd get so embarrassed. Last year when I was in the hospital for a short stint he picked on me. I told him, one of us would get us one of those fine ladies to take care of us and we'd be set for old age. Cause you know, I'm not old already. Anyway, that little fucker went and knocked himself out just to get one of those pretty tall blonde ladies with those fun accents. Cheater, that's what he is. Not his fault I guess, far as we know, he is an only child." 

"Hugh." Tyler laughed. "If I didn't know you, I'd think something was wrong with you."

"Ahhh, but you see. That's the point. You've got to make them think you're crazy. Women they love that shit. Nooo boo, that's not right. I love women, I don't want to disrespect them. But it is true, if they think you're crazier than they are, well you're a keeper."

"Like I said. Something is wrong with you."

"Yeah, I gave my boy all my good genes. Probably a good thing he is an only child."

"You know, talking with you is a real pleasure. This has eased my nerves some."

"I thought my senile old man blurbs would be helpful Tyler. You keep an eye on my boy and let me know how he is. I'll come out there if he needs me. I don't mean ask him if he wants me too, he ain't going to admit it. He's stubborn like his mama. She was a real feisty one. You see that's where he gets it. All this speak your mind nonsense. When she was baking him up, I slipped a little jack ass in there when she wasn't looking, just to balance him out a little."

"I don't even want to know."

"Well son, how do you think you got here? We were writing the books on knocking boot long before we ever dreamed you up, and let me tell you, we were still breaking in the furniture long after you flew the nest. Ask your mama."

"Oh God. Hugh!"

"Let me tell you something. I give that little fucker shit about this all the time. He is not the God of fuck. He is the spawn of... so what would that make him? Hmmm a martyr with a big dick, gifted to him from the OG over here."

"Oh. My. God. Why aren't you touring? You could be a comedian. Despite the fact I'm totally appalled and grossed out, I feel so much better."

"Glad I could help. I turn into a real character when I'm nervous. I'm sorry kid."

"Well know I know where he got that from. Not that it was ever really up for questioning. "

"You call me as soon as you know something. Don't you worry about the time. You hear me?"

"I will sir. I promise!"

They hung up, and Tyler really did feel better after listening to his inappropriate jokes. He took a seat again over in the waiting area. 

A few hours went by, and two men came out of the doors where they'd taken Marilyn. The nurse went over and woke Tyler. The one man, the Dr. Tyler assumed, the other man, dressed the same, was the translator. Tyler tried to figure them out before they got too close. The nurse introduced them as Dr. Novak and Dr. Svoboda. 

Extending a hand to shake with Tyler the first spoke. "I'm Dr. Novak, I'm the attending physician."  
The other does the same.  
"I'm Dr.Svoboda neurology. Your friend is in good hands sir."  
Dr. Novak motioned to the sitting area. "Let us sit? Do you need anything, coffee, water, pop?"

"No thank you. Oh. I'm Tyler, guitarist" Tyler felt like a dork as soon as he said it, he wished Marilyn had been there to see it.   
Dr. Novak: "Your friend will be okay. He has given us permission to speak to you about anything pertaining to his stay. We will take you back soon.   
He is stable. We will keep him overnight for observation."

Dr Svoboda: "From what I've seen so far, it appears that he's had two grand mal seizures and each are followed by periods of unconsciousness. The unconsciousness is of concern because seizures you see, a seizure is the unbalanced electrical synapses within the brain typically with in the cerebral cortex. Basically it's both sides of the brain trying to communicate and they become unable to do so.   
Typically a seizure happens and then it ends. Followed by a period of fatigue, confusion of events, nausea and vomiting, anxiety and so on. Not all seizures are convulsary. So I need to try and find a cause. These seem to be a symptom of another problem or he's not unconscious but rather unable to communicate and experiencing extreme fatigue. We will let you know. Right now, he is stable and alert, though he is slightly confused about being here. Give me a moment to speak with the nurse and she will come get you."

"Thank you both so much. I've spoken to his father, he is in America. I will update him as well.

They all shook hands and parted ways. Tyler was glad they had a theory, but he wanted to know what caused them. About an hour passed by and the nurse waved him over from the nurses station, Tyler nodded and walked over. 

"Mr. Peters is ready for you, I will take you to his room. Would you like something? Tea, coffee, juice?"

"No thank you."

The nurse nodded and they silently walked down the hall to Brian's room. 

"Knock knock! I've got a visitor for you. This poor fella has been sitting out there all night." The spoke very cheerfully for it to be so early in the morning.

Tyler entered the room, and smiled when he saw he was awake. Though he looked pretty rough. Tyler grew annoyed when he saw traces of makeup left on his face. All it seemed they'd managed to do was put a gown on him, hook him to machines and put him in bed. Though Tyler knew they weren't going to do some things because this was a hospital. Going by the bag of black it appeared they didn't cut his clothes off of him. He looked so tired, like he had t slept in days, his hair was disheveled and and he had  light bruises on the parts of his skin he could see. Tyler approached the bed and hugged him. He hugged him harder than he meant too, but he was worried he was going to die or something. Seeing him in that bed, alive and smiling was everything in that moment. Marilyn returned the hug, though he didn't have the energy to squeeze him. 

"You asshole! I thought you died!"

"Nope, guess you're stuck with me for another round." 

They broke the hug and Tyler went into the bathroom. He grabbed the grey basin and filled it with warm water and a wash cloth. He rummaged though the bag of things he'd collected when they left the venue, retrieving a bottle of gel baby oil, his deodorant, and hair brush. He walked back into the room and sat it on the dinner tray table beside the bed. 

"Let me help you alright."

He nodded and laid back against the bed he had raised into a reclined position.  

Tyler washed his face, using the baby oil to get the make up off of his face. He brushed his hair so it laid back instead of sticking in all direction. He handed him his deodorant. "Want me to get your tooth brush and stuff?"

Marilyn nodded his eyes struggled to stay open. Tyler was sure something in his IV was making him drowsy. He came back with the items and a cup of water. Marilyn brushed his teeth very slowly, but he did it.  Tyler cleaned up everything around the bed.

"Feel better?" 

Marilyn nodded. Tyler pulled a chair up to the bed, rummaging through the bag again he pulled out Marilyn's cell phone and charger. "I brought your favorite thing." He joked laying the table on the tray where the basin had been.  Marilyn laughed quietly knowing exactly what it was. Tyler plugged the phone in and then he sat in the chair by the bed, pushing it back into a similar reclining position, and stroked his friends hair tenderly helping him drift off into a peaceful sleep. He fell asleep as well watching his friend was tiring, and he was exhausted enough.

Close to 2 hours later a nurse let herself into the room, causing both men to stir, Tyler sitting his chair up to greet her, struggled in his post sleep blur.  
She waited until he was settled and introduced herself as the day nurse they'd have, while she did some stuff to his tubes and watched the monitors. She then explained that a tech would come get him soon to take him down for an MRI. 

Tyler gently woke him back up and let him know what the nurse said. All he did was nod and go back to sleep. Tyler knew he had to be exhausted. He'd done an amazing show, and then went through whatever he went through. Just a few minutes passed and the tech and a young man from patient transport came up. The tech unplugged everything and asked him if he could get into a wheelchair or if he wanted to stay in the bed. He shook his head silently. The wheeled him out in his bed. 

Tyler took this opportunity to update everyone including Hugh. He grabbed Marilyn's phone and managed to open the screen. He really needed a new password Tyler thought as he scrolled through his contacts. He put Johnny, and Charlie into his own phone. Other than himself and his dad they were the only two other people in his ICE (iPhones version of an in case of emergency)list, as well as his frequently used list. 

Text to Johnny:  
"Johnny, hey it Tyler. I got your number from Brian's phone. I wanted to let you know Brian had what the Dr believes was a seizure last night. We are at the hospital now, they are doing a few scans. I'll update you as soon as I know something. When they bring him up I'll have him call you ."

He sent the same message to Charlie. 

What felt like forever was actually about an hour, and they were bringing a more awake Brian into his room. 

"Hey, look whose awake!" Tyler joked.

"Yeah, I guess I just needed a lot of sleep?" 

"How do you feel?"

He waited until the nurse finished plugging everything in and giving her speech about results and such before he answered.

"Eh, I've had better days. What the fuck happened. Why am I here? I did the show right! I didn't dream that!!!?"

"Well at least you know who you are. Yes you did the show. It was amazing! You even said it felt like one of the best in a while." Tyler mused.

"Whew good. I don't want angry fans. Did they see me? Why am I here?"

"No. I made sure they didn't see you leaving. You left in an ambulance. They think you had some seizures. Have you ever had one before? I was so worried. I thought you were having a stroke or dying."

"Pshhhh. I'm not going to die that easily. Glad the fans don't know. What about the band?"

"They are worried. Or updated then. They will come by later. I also called your dad, and text Johnny and Charlie."

"Dad? Is he okay? He worries so much. I need to call him. I'll wait till I have information. How long have you been here?"

"Long as you have. I came in the ambulance."

"Tyler!! Why? You've got to be tired."

Tyler only nodded. He pushed his chair back again. Ask few minutes passed and he spoke, taking Brian's hand in his own, still mostly asleep. "Wake me if the nurse or Dr comes in."

Marilyn agreed squeezing his hand.


	16. Diagnosis

Tyler slept in the chair next to Brian's bed holding his hand to make sure he was still there. Several hours passed before a nurse entered the room to check his vitals. 

"How are you feeling?" The nurse asked with a cheerful voice as Brian roused in his sleep and groggily nodded his head. He shook his hand against Tyler waking him, and letting his hand go. 

"What's going on? Are you okay?" Tyler rambled quickly with worry.

"Yes, the nurse is in here."

"Oh, I see. I'm sorry." He nodded towards her.

"Don't worry about it. You were sleeping good huh?" 

"Yes ma'am. I guess so. Will the Dr be in today with the results of his scans?" 

"Yes. In a few hours. Matter of fact I think he's going to let y'all go." 

"Oh, good!" Tyler looked at Brian who smiled drowsily. "That's good!" 

"Yep! I hope they know what happened to me. I feel like I could sleep for a year!"

"Are you up for company? There's a gentleman here, he's been waiting a couple hours."

"Yes that's fine."

Marilyn rested his head back again. "I'm starving! I wonder if I'm going to get to eat yet?" 

"I'll go get you something." Tyler stood and stretched. 

"Hey, Tyler. Thanks man. For being here and all. I appreciate it."

"Absolutely! Man, I do it all in hopes of a pay raise!"

Brian laughed, as did Tyler. 

"Asshole." Brian whispered as he walked out the door.

A few minutes after Tyler left there was a soft knock at the door. 

"Come in." Marilyn tumbled out. 

"Hey son, how you holding up."

Marilyn rubbed his eyes trying to make sure he saw who he saw.

"Dad? How in the hell?" He sighed pressing the bridge of his nose. "Tyler?"

"Yeah, well he didn't give up where you were but good old google helped me out."

"Dad, we've discussed this. You're too old to Google. You're going to get yourself in trouble."

"Nah. I've found all the important things, including you. Google never lets me down." 

"Well, then you probably know more than I do at this point about what's wrong with me." 

"Well, there are theories. You over dosed, your lungs collapsed, you broke your arm, your leg and someone else reported your neck. Oh and the always fun one! The ribs you had removed are causing your body to fail at holding you upright anymore so you died." 

"Well shit. That's fun. Guess I'd better tweet something."

Marilyn Manson tweeted 2m ago:  
Sorry for the unnecessary, and also uninformed scare. So am ambulance was the quickest direct way out of the venue. I had an asthma attack and the medics were struggling to stabilize me. They opted to load me up. I am now resting in my hotel bed in France waiting for my next show. Thanks for the concern to you guys, I'm glad I have fans who care to help combat the media liars!

"That should do. I'd better text Johnny!"

Hugh walked over the bed planting a kiss on his sons head before sitting down. "So whats the Dr say?"

"They are coming up in a bit to give me the results. I'm hoping Tyler makes it back with my food."

"So how are things going with Johnny?"

"I guess alright. I miss him. We're planning a time we can hang out."

"And the other boy?"

"Dad, I am 45 years old. Don't refer to the people I date as boy, or girls for that matter."

"Well son, the day you bring home a lady, or a man for that matter I won't. And someone who just passes through your sheets isn't man. Someone who sticks it out with you, that's a man or a lady. Of course there are other qualifications but we can start there. And second. Boy, I don't care if you're 73 you will always be my boy. Get over it."

Brian rolled his eyes and laughed laying his head back. Tyler came into the room with the food he'd gotten from the cafeteria. 

"What the fuck!" He whispered in surprise doing a double take. "How? Wha? Hi... Hugh." 

"Tyler. How are you doing? Thanks for watching over my boy."

"No problem. I look away for 5 minutes and this happens. I'm going to have to get one of those chest carriers to put him in!"

"Ha-ha... ha. You're fucking hilarious. Both of you."

"Well son, he has a point. I'd say, he's a good... man."

Brian shot a side eyed scowl at his dad understanding why he was implying. "Yeah dad, he's a great friend."

Tyler popped his collar. "You know it!"

Dr. Svoboda came into the room. 

"Hi, how are we feeling today?"

"Alive. Okay, really, just really tired."

"That's to be expected. It would appear my suspicion was correct. You've experienced two grand mal seizures. It may or may not be the first time. One form of the seizure, like the one experienced prior to arriving here without the convulsions is called a catatonic seizure. They tend to last a few minutes and pass, with confusion and fatigue following. 

Your labs all came back clear and the scan showed no abnormalities. I am discharging you, with an order to follow up with your physician upon return to the states. 

"Am I safe to complete the tour? I have 6 shows left."

"I'd say so. Many people have seizures and have normal lives. I'd say don't drive anything like that until you're able to have some follow up and a more detailed study done. I've written you a prescription for a very mild anti-seizure medication. You'll want to stay hydrated. No alcohol no drugs.  If at all you start to feel funny or different anything such as that you'll need to sit down immediately. Or lie down if possible. This will prevent you from harming yourself."

"I've never had this happen before. Do you know what caused it?"

"There are many factors. Stress, bad diet, not enough nutrition, certain strenuous activities. Your dr at home may want to do an extended study. That will give you more answers. We've pushed IV fluids to hydrate you and give you the nutrition you need to start feeling better. I'll get your discharge paperwork ready. However you will need to stay over night and leave in the morning. There are a few things that need to finish processing while you're here. You're welcome to have visitors. Would like me to have a nurse bring you some shower supplies? I'll have them take the bed alarm and fall risk protocols down. They will remove the catheter, you'll start noticing you'll be in the bathroom a lot from the IV."  
The dr finished with a chuckle, shaking everyone's hand as he left the room.

"Well then... that's fun." Brian sighed annoyed

"Well son, nothing you can do about it.  Just got to take better care of yourself. Now I'm going to book a flight home for first thing in the morning. I'll go down to my hotel room and leave you to it."

"Okay dad. Thanks for coming. You didn't have too."

"Yes I did. I love you son." He kissed him on the head again before he left the room.

"I love you dad."

*ping*   
Text from Johnneth  
Hey you motherfucker! I have been trying to reach you like crazy!!!! Tyler text me! I hope you're okay. Please be okay! Brian, I'm coming to you. I'll be there by 9pm your time. Text me your room number.

Reply:  
Hey you asshole. My phone has been off. I've been sleeping a lot. The Dr just left and says I had a seizure. They're sending me home in the morning. Room is 612 if you make it in time. If not, next stop is France. You know where I stay. 

Text from Johnneth  
Okay, well since you're leaving so soon, I'll see you in France. Don't you ever almost die and not inform me of it ever again!

Reply:  
How about, I'll just try not to ever almost die again. I'll see you in France. Can I call you in a few hours? *winky face emoticon* 

Text from Johnneth  
Yes. Please call me. *devil emoji*

"Well, since you're about to be busy with the shower and such do you mind if I go to the hotel and do the same? I also need to let everyone know what's up for you."

"No, I want you to go. Did you see them put the tube in my dick?"  

"No! I was in the waiting room and when I was let in you were in the bed asleep."

"Okay. That would be embarrassing."

"I've seen your dick before. You run around naked all the time."

"Not the same man."

"Okay. Well I'll be back in the morning to get you . If you need anything... at all... call me. Deal?"

"Deal!"

The nurse finally came in to give him the things for the shower and to disconnect several things. She let him know that the first time he pees it would burn a little, so he might want to go in the shower.

He was grateful for the warning. It did burn, but the water was making it better. He felt a lot better after his shower. He put on the pajama pants Tyler had packed for him and got back into the bed. He knew Tyler would be watching him all the time now. Making sure he eats and well. It was true, he hadn't been eating like he should. Some times he didn't eat at all. He had gained some weight and he couldn't stand it. He'd lived off of jello before he didn't see why he couldn't now. Maybe because he was now a man in his forties and life just didn't work like that. 

He was so ready to be with Johnny. Even just hanging out, he always made him feel better. After this experience he had a lot to tell him.


	17. Driver

Marilyn finally got discharged from the hospital with orders and prescriptions. Just as expected Tyler picked him up from the hospital and brought him to the hotel. Marilyn still felt groggy and tired just from the lack of sleep you get in the hospital. He walked into his room and immediately curled up on the bed. Tyler followed close behind. "Hey, Mar. the guys want to see you, and we have to leave in an hour to get to the airport." He whispered sitting down beside him on the bed. 

Marilyn groaned in response. 

"I'm sorry. I would let you sleep but I don't want the manager coming in here making sure you're alright or canceling dates on you. I'll let you sleep on the plane."

"I never get to sleep on the plane. Tyler just let me now." He pulled a pillow over his head. Tyler sighed in exasperation.

He reached out like he'd done in the hospital and he stroked the long parts of his hair behind his ear. Only this time he kept doing it. Hearing Marilyn mumble something about it feeling nice as he cozied into the bed more. 

"Brian. You're so difficult. Come on. I've got you all packed up and ready to go." He whispered soothingly.

Brian hugged and sat up. "Fine. Can we head out now? I can sleep in the car?"

"That would be fine. Let's go let the guys know."

"Ugh! This fucking sucks."

"Yeah well, every one is glad that you are okay. If we get to Paris a day early that gives you a day to feel normal again."

They grabbed their stuff and headed out. Going into the other rooms and let the guys know what was going on with Marilyn that he was fine and also they were heading to the airport early.

"Hey, guys, I love you all. I really do, however we all know how I am, I've been surrounded by people at the hospital, I just need a little time to be alone. I'm going to go ahead and take a car to the airport by myself.  Is that okay with you guys?" 

He genuinely meant it. He wanted to be left alone for a bit. He wanted to catch up on any work stuff, dick around online, and of course he owed Johnny a phone call. 

They all chattered amongst themselves letting him know they did understand and would try not to bombard him with questions. So long as he was fine and they didn't need to worry they could figure out the rest.

Marilyn grabbed his carry on bag and left his other things the crew ships for him, and walked towards the front of the building meeting his car. He was so ready to get to Paris. He wanted to see Johnny and touch him, not just text him and SnapChat him, or FaceTime call as they had been doing at least once a day since the tour started except for the time Johnny couldn't use his phone. The first thing he did when he sat in the car was pull out his phone and call Johnny. 

The phone rang, and there was no answer. He laid his head back against the car seat and sighed, thinking out what he wanted to say in text. About forty five minutes into the drive he realized he had dozed off, but was also aware they weren't at the airport, nor on what appeared to be the route to the airport based on the map on the drivers map. 

"Excuse me? Where are we going. Were you given the instructions correctly? I'm going to the airport."

The man just mumbled something incoherently in a gruff voice. 

"Sir, politely tell me what is going on. I will contact the police, and your supervisor."

"Youre so dramatic, and uptight to be a rockstar." The driver replied with annoyance in an unidentifiable accent that didn't sound native to the location.

"Yeah, well I'm paid to be dramatic. Stop being a dick and tell me what's up. Why are we deviating from the route? We should've been at the airport by now."

"Do you really want to sit at the airport for 5 hours waiting for your flight? Your band and crew won't be there for sometime. The man that called me to come knew you would need some space and wanted me to give you the scenic route, or at least give you plenty of time to unwind. I did not know you we're unaware of that plan. You gave me no points of interest, I just drive around"

"Sounds like Tyler. That fucker. He is a good friend though. I want to get to Paris ASAP! If I hadn't been in the hospital I would have skipped the downtime week off here and went there. No offense to your country."

"What is in Paris? A girl perhaps? Someone special? Rockstar you are not married correct? You have girls in all countries?" 

"Um, not really. I mean I've sewed the oats so they say, but I don't really do that anymore. It's not actually as fun as you'd think. They're using you for status and bc you're a rockstar, we're using them bc they like us and we don't have to try and they're something to do till you get back with the one you love. Totally fucked up I know."

"Eh, everyone plays the same game. Just some do it differently is all. So rockstar, who is lucky girl you want to go home to?" 

"Honestly. Lucky girl is my cat. Back home in the States. My dad is caring for her while I'm out on tour. Sometimes I bring her with me."

"You don't have girlfriend or wife now?"

"Nope, actually okay with that right now."

"But there is someone in Paris waiting for you. You're too eager to get there and the smile on your face when you mentioned it tells me that."

"Yeah, someone special."

"Not to be rude. You don't have to answer. Is it boyfriend you have in Paris? I do not judge, but you answered my earlier question in a way that now I suspect. I have a daughter that is on this uh, how you say? Rainbow spectrum. I do not understand all this, my day you were straight or gay and gay people you just did not know about so many of them. Now most people are free to be whatever. It is wonderful but confusing thing to my generation."

Brian blushed uncontrollably, but laughed as well. This man was interesting and he didn't really care if he knew what was up. Worst he would tell a reporter "Marilyn Manson mentioned a boyfriend in Paris." Not the worst thing.

"Yes, its a man. I don't think boyfriend, which I just don't like that word, girlfriend, boyfriend. I tend to say partner, significant other regardless of gender. But, um I don't think we are a couple. We've sort of danced around it. I don't think either of us have been in a relationship with other men before. I've had relations with men before, but this is different. Matter of fact, I love him. I love him so much, I've literally never in my life felt this way about another human. I've been married and I loved her with all my heart, but this is still different. On another level. I love him with everything I am. I've felt it for a while, but I don't acknowledge it, I've been confused by it. Until recently I wasn't sure he would do half the things we've done honestly.  As friends I know he loves me back, but romantically, I just hope he does. I can't wait to see him when I get to Paris. He's my best friend, he has a house there. He lives in the States and Paris. His kids and ex wife are in Paris most of the time. This tour has helped me solidify what I feel and I plan to talk to him about it. I'm scared, but I'm happy. I'm sorry I tend to ramble, I give long answers to short questions. Guess you could tell."

"Sounds like you know who you are, and what you want. Maybe now life will a little easier to navigate. I'd bet he feels the same way. He is happy to see you soon yeah?"

"Yeah. I tried to call him and let him know I was on my way to the airport, but he didn't answer."

"Hmmm I'm sorry."

The car slowed at a red light in a busier part of town. Not where they had previously stayed for tour, but another big city. 

"Anything look appealing? I take you anywhere."

"No, riding is fine. I don't like roaming around unfamiliar places alone. I get distracted easily and lost."

"I go with you? Look like body guard."

Brian laughed but considered it. The car came to another stop and he looked around confused again.

"Why are we here? Hotel?"

No answer.


	18. Lay down your gun

The front car door opened and closed. Marilyn felt his blood rushing through his veins. He saw the man disappear inside and attempted to open the car doors. He couldn't open them, nor could he open the divider between the back and the front of the car. He watched as three men exited the hotel. One of them approached the car and opened the door gesturing for him to get out. 

He sent out a generic "I think I need help???" message to Johnny, shoved his phone into his pocket and grabbed his bag. He thought about it after he'd sent the message that Johnny had been the worst pick. Tyler is who he should have texted. 

He got out of the car slowly and the other two men took a place at either side of him. The man who opened the door walked in front of him.

Marilyn tried to take in everything he could of the lobby and where he was at. They walked past the reception desk and continued to an elevator. Only one man got on the elevator with him. He watched the floors below as they climbed higher and higher. 

He wasn't sure what he was so nervous about, the driver had been pleasant enough, but why were they being so weird? All those fears about strangers your parents pound into your head flooded his thoughts. 

*ding* 

The sound of the elevator stopping at its destination brought him out of his thoughts. The man held his arm out, holding the doors open so Marilyn could exit, and then gestured in the direction they were supposed to go. He walked beside him the whole way down the hall of guest rooms. The man wasn't particularly mean, or uninviting but he was also not talking or trying to make this situation any better. 

They got the room Marilyn had accepted he would likely be dying in, he watched as the man slipped the key card in and opened the door for him. He did not enter, only looked at Marilyn. "You wait here."

Marilyn nodded, and walked inside, sat his bag down at the table in the suite. The room was amazing. One of the better rooms he'd stayed in. There were huge ceiling to floor windows, ornate with golden and lavender drapes. The table was standard high top dinner table size with a marble top, bar stool height seats. A king size bed was in an adjoining room from the living room area. That room had a balcony, though the door was currently locked and he didn't have the key card to open it. He could tell they were at least 15-20 stories up. Maybe more. He considered taking a shower as he wasn't sure when anyone would be there and if he were going to die he could at least feel clean.

He pulled some stuff out of his carry on bag. Travel sized soap, a hair brush, clean underwear(you never know when you're going to be bathing in the airport or they lose your luggage.) and deodorant. Once he was set he got into the shower and for that moment he let the stress wash away.

Not long after he'd redressed he heard people outside the door. The first voice he recognized was that of the driver from earlier. There was a booming knock at the door, Marilyn felt inside his core. 

"Rockstar. You are here? You have eh... guest."

The way he spoke sounded confused. Marilyn was nervous about what was going to be on the other side of the door. He pressed forward and opened it anyway, not even bothering with the peephole. 

"You have guest. There was apparently a mistake with security. You look scared. They are not most friendly looking guys. Again. We did not know you were so unaware of happenings here. Your guest is here. They set up room and security. Can we send up guest now?"

"Can um... can I ask you who is my guest?"

"Rockstar I do not know. I call you Rockstar per protocol, until you are in vehicle I have no clue who I am picking up. Just description and high profile."

"I'm not going to die?"

"Not here sir, I hope not at least. You have 4 hours left until you go to airport. I wait for you downstairs."

Marilyn nodded more confused now than he had been before. He sat on the bed and waited. Praying to a God he didn't know if was there or not any more. He wanted to go see Johnny and spill his heart and he wanted to be with his band. He in truth wanted his dad to magically find him again like he does. Everything would be fine if his dad showed up, because some times we revert to the comfort of a smaller version of ourselves.

A few minutes passed and the door beeped letting him know the key card had been accepted for whomever was coming in. He stayed as still as he could and didn't move.

"... we wait downstairs. You both leave together yes? I think we scare him, not on purpose of course..."

"... hm. There is no telling what he thinks. I told you not to be weird..." 

"... incoherent mumbled... ruined my surprise you will all be fired do you hear me?" 

" yes sir. Of course. Best of luck sir."

Brian recognized the voices as the driver and the other voice felt like home. Like the heavens were glowing safely around him. Though he wasn't sure if he were just hallucinating at this point.

The door closed and Brian heard items being sat down on the table. Footsteps fell softly on the carpeted part of the floor near the door before he heard a soft knock.

"Brian? You in here? It's just me man. I know you have weapons, unload and put them down. I'm going to wait for you to open the door k."

Brian cocked a brow at the fact that he were actually unarmed though he should have brought his gun. Only one person would know him well enough to know that he was likely armed and that if he was freaked out he was probably holding live fire. 

"Johnny? You can open the door. I'm unarmed, it's unlocked." He tried to sound like he was okay but his anxiety had been brought to its maximum levels and he felt like he might faint from relief if he stood up. A part of him wanted to punch the man in the face, the other part of him wanted to slam him up against the wall and do bad things with him.


	19. Coming Clean

Johnny opened the door a little worried. 

Surprise. He stated awkwardly.  
This has not gone according to plan and I am so sorry. He walked up to Marilyn and attempted to hug him. In that moment though, Marilyn became so angry, he shook from it. 

You fucking asshole! I thought I was going to die, after just leaving the fucking hospital. All because you had some hair brained idea to what? Check on me? Surprise me? What the hell are you expecting from this?

Johnny let him finish. He understood why he was so upset, Hell he was upset. 

Brian. I didn't just come here because oh were in the hospital. Yes that's part of why I went through with my plan. My security was supposed to tell you I was flying you to me in my jet, I'm seeing now they left that out. The surprise was that I'd be on said jet. Now I'm here, trying to keep you from having a heart attack.

Marilyn looked at him clenching his teeth. He didn't know why he had to shit like this. Why couldn't he just be normal and meet him at the fucking airport. 

They were being so weird I thought they were going to kill me.

Johnny again started to approach him. 

I am mad at you. You cannot just come in here and be all you... it be okay.

Johnny nodded but proceeded anyway. Wrapping his arms around him. I understand that. You have every right to be mad. What can I do to make it better? 

Johnny looked at him, searching his eyes for anything. Love, lust, anger... it didn't matter, he was so happy to be in the room with him. 

I hate you. Brian spoke as he pulled Johnny down on top of him kissing him hard. 

Sure you do. I don't hate you. 

Maybe you should. Brian actually spoke regrettably. He didn't want this to come up now. He also didn't want to seize up again because he was stressed out about this stupid gnawing guilt.

Why would you say that? Johnny stayed where he was on top of him, rubbing his hair.

Maybe we should sit up? Brian had sadness in his eyes now where rage and lust had just been.

Okay. You're worrying me. 

Johnny. I need to tell you three things. Please let me tell you all three things.

Johnny nodded.

First: I am in love with you. Johnny smiles  
Second: I slept with Charlie. Johnny stops smiling.  
Third: I'm sorry, confused and my heart hurts. Johnny nods.

I can elaborate if you want. Johnny nods again. 

Okay. Well, when I left the States, well before I left the States I knew what I wanted. I am so in love with you it terrifies me. I'm not sure if you felt the same way. If I'm just a passing fad for you while you're mending. Which leads us to number two. I thought with all my honesty that Charlie was straight. I did not expect to hook up with him. But it did happen. I like him as a friend. A fuck buddy maybe, I couldn't see myself having a relationship with him. What did happen though is that it helped me process that I want more from you than that. I know we said we're not a couple and I guess the idea of women coming up was understood but I have felt guilty because Charlie is a man. A man I wish to continue being friends with. I didn't know where we stood, or how to talk about it. Which brings us to number three. I am sorry. I feel like I've cheated on you. Like I said I was and am confused. Though that does not make what I've done okay. My heart hurts, every time I see you, when I am with you in preparation for when you leave, and the lie I have to tell. I understand why we hide it, but I don't know if you want more from me. If not, I cannot keep sleeping with you. Dating you. This game we play has to stop. 

Johnny sat there stunned. He cleared his throat. 

Okay. I'm um. Going to respond probably not in order. About Charlie. I saw that coming. Not going to lie, I fucking hated him, from the time I saw him look at you, the way I do. I am not mad at you for sleeping with him. I am thankful for your honesty. We've never used condoms. Did you?  
Marilyn nodded yes.  
Great. Me knowing the likelihood of you two fucking or hell coming home a couple is honestly why I am here. I came to fight. To woo you, to win. I didn't call you, not because my phone didn't work but because I also needed to think about all the things I felt, and how to process them. I didn't sleep with someone else, but I did come very close. Honestly I didn't do it because I was afraid that would get out, and because as soon as he touched me I became so completely disgusted with myself I left set. I went to a different hotel. I know Charlie left the tour sooner than expected. Brian, I've been dancing around my fear for many years, last year I got brave enough to kiss you on New Years. After that, on stage. From there, drunken boredom make out sessions and so on. I haven't wanted to admit that I'm into men. When I was a lot younger I saw a guy for a period of time, but it was so wrong back then you know. By then I was taking off and my manager found out about him. I was told to stop it immediately or be fired and go no where. I'm terrified of that happening again. Only with you I feel happy, and safe. I love you. I am in love with you. I know that you've said before you want to be able to just love whoever you love, you voted for gay marriage. I agree with you. We're not from the same world though. I don't want to stop you from being who you are. If you want to just be friends and find someone you can introduce on the red carpet as your significant other, I understand. I am willing to come out to those closest to us. 

Johnny barely got the last words out of his mouth and Brian was pressing his lips onto his. 

Don't you want me to finish number three?

Brian shook his head no. Just fucking kiss me.


	20. The End

Marilyn lay in that king size bed with Johnny's arms around him. He felt so happy and content. They still had an hour an a half before they had to leave. He knew he had a lot to think about and to consider. Was he willing to stay in the public closet for potentially forever? In the time they'd been in this room they hadn't had sex, but shared a different intimacy. They kissed and cuddled, cried and laughed. 

"Brian, you know you're everything to me. I do honestly want to stop playing with you. You're not a game." He spoke softly stroking his hair. 

Marilyn smiled in response. Everything he could think of to say sounded cheesy and stupid in his head.   
"Don't stop playing with me." He pretend whined and let his hand travel down Johnny's tight abdomen towards his pants.

"Don't whine. I will never stop playing with you." He rolled them over so he was on top of the other. He ground himself against him causing the right kind of friction as his lips met his.

"Mmmm promise?" 

Johnny continued dotting his body with nips and kisses as he slipped his shirt over his head. "Promise."

Their body's moved together as their breathing became heavier. Johnny looked him in the eyes and kissed his cheeks where the stains of tears remained.   
This moment was brief as he felt the tension between them growing.

"Little you speaks loud and clear trust me!" 

"Johnny you asshole! It is not little!"

He pulled the belt from Johnny's jeans and popped the button on his own. Reaching his head up as much as he could in the position he let his teeth meet Johnny's flesh and bit him hard. Johnny let out a growl and the calm that was in his eyes was replaced by a ravenous lust.

"Is there lube?" He asked his husky voice right by his ear.

"Bag." Marilyn huffed out as the rest of their clothes were stripped off. 

Johnny rolled off of him and grabbed the bag from the table, his hard cock jutting from his body fiercely. He squeezed some into his hand and slid it over his length. 

"Not gonna prep me?" Marilyn asked in his best virginal voice. 

"Nope. Can't. Gonna explode."

Marilyn's eyes went wide with a thousand stupid things he could say but instead he parted his legs and wrapped them around Johnny when he was close enough, pulling him back into his body. 

Johnny leaned down and pressed his lips to Brian's as he pushed himself inside of him. "I love you, Brian."

Their bodies lay in a tangled sweaty heap as they came down from their highs. Of all the times they'd been together that was one of the first times they'd honestly made love to one another. Jonny's back was stinging from sweat and scratch marks, as much he hated to separate himself from Brian he knew they needed to shower before they left. 

*************************************************

The airport was loud and booming with life. Johnny offered to fly him in his own plane but Marilyn declined. 

"I'd like to fly with my band. Always have, always will. But I'll meet you at the villa." He placed a kiss on his lips as he exited the car.

"Whatever suites you Mister Rockstar." Johnny beamed at him. 

"Hey now. That's Mister Superstar I'll have you know." 

Marilyn draped his bag over his shoulder and went into the airport looking for Tyler and the band. Finding Tyler was easy enough. He looked frantic as if he were watching over his actual children in the airport and not a bunch of adults. 

"Bri... Manson... where the hell have you been!? I've called you like 12 times? I was so worried something else happened to you!"

"Well the driver kidnapped me like you told him too."

"I didn't do that. I didn't call your driver."

"Shit. Must have been Johnny... anyway. I was at a hotel having the shit scared of me and then I took a nap."

"You could have said something! Don't just do shit like that man." 

"Where's the guys?"

Tyler pointed as they walked over. The band was happy to see him looking well. Paul had a sly grin as he jumped up from his bench. 

"DADDY!!!!! I'm so happy you're here! I was so worried!!!" He screamed intentionally loudly enough to draw attention to them as he wrapped his arms tightly around Manson's body. Marilyn tried to pry him away from his body but gave up when he realized he'd been defeated at his own game. He hugged the guitarist back despite the stares they were getting from on lookers.

" I think I'm retiring that title and giving it to Tyler." 

"Oh no! You keep me out of your weird twisted game."  Tyler spoke seriously.

The rest of the band all smirked and on Marilyn's move they all attacked him into a hug. 

"You know what's great? The fact that we can be weird as fuck and the fact that we're here with Manson makes it okay." Gil laughed at the ridiculousness of the scene they were displaying. 

"Shut the fuck up asshat." Manson drolled out, pulling himself from the group. "Think it's time for us to get through to the gate."

Tyler hung back walking with the frontman as he usually did. "Hey man, be honest with me. One hundred percent you have my word I will not tell a sole."

Marilyn looked at him waiting for the question.

"Johnny was at the hotel with you wasn't he? He's the secret, why Daniel struck a nerve?"

"Mmhmm." Marilyn nodded. 

"Charlie asked me to give you this." Tyler handed him a package looking at him with a confused face. Scrawled onto the brown paper it said. Hey bloke, I enjoyed touring. Got you a parting gift. Told Tyler to give it to you. Open it in front of them. They will love it also. Don't know what you could do with this but I hope you get a laugh. ;)

Marilyn cocked a brow at the package. He snapped a picture of the writing and texted it to Charlie.  
What the fuck is in the box? I have so many questions!

Text from Charlie.  
Open it asshole. Maybe I'll wear it for ya sometime! ;)

 

Text to Charlie:  
Oh God! I don't want to open it. Why do they need to see it?

Text from Charlie  
Open the fucking box!

Marilyn tore open the package and saw the sequins shining against the light. It was red and and shining. The most beautiful slutty thing he'd ever seen. He held it up so the guys could see.

"Someone gets me!" He shouted at them. He took a picture of the shirt with the guys laughing in the background. 

Text to Charlie:  
You asshole. I love it. 

Text from Charlie  
Thought you would. I'll model it for you and boyfriend. By the way, my driver said that you've got yourself figured out pretty good. Glad I could help ;) 

Text to Charlie  
Son of a bitch! Your driver kidnapped me!? Model it for us huh? I'll see what I can do. Thanks. 

Text from Charlie   
Yeah, helped Johnny out. I hadn't left yet and he called in some favors. He's a good guy. Secret is safe. Congrats by the way. 

Text to Charlie   
Thanks man. He is. So are you.

"Hey man you getting on this plane?" Tyler called out. 

Marilyn shoved his phone into his pocket and the shirt into his bag. He had so many thoughts but one was in the front of his head. Boyfriend. Charlie referred to Johnny as boyfriend and it actually didn't suck. Even if it was just between the few of them. He pulled his phone back out walking through the terminal. 

Text to Jonny  
Boyfriend. You're an asshole. I love you. See you soon.

Text from Johnny  
I am, but I do it all for you. Boyfriend. You don't even like that word, but I'll take it. See you soon. 

Tyler walked beside his friend putting his hand on his shoulder comfortably as they boarded the plane.


	21. Thank you

I am so thankful to all of you who stood by this story and the characters. I've had so much fun writing it! I am planning a short follow up to show where our characters go. 

Thank you so much again! Hope you've enjoyed this story! 

What was your favorite part?


End file.
